Candle in the Darkness - Lynn N. Austin [127]
I gathered her in my arms, soothing her the way Tessie always soothed me. “I think you’ve answered my question. You’re in love with him. And if it’s any consolation, Jonathan has been in love with you for three years.” I smiled, but she was too distraught to return it.
“What am I going to do, Caroline? How can you stand not seeing the man you love, having him so far away? And in so much danger?”
“I can’t stand it. I hate it. I know you’ve always supported the war, but I wish it would end right this minute, before one more person has to die.”
“I think I understand why you’ve never cheered like everyone else,” Sally said as she blew her nose. “I can’t believe I was naïve enough to think the war was glorious.”
“War may not be glorious, but it does take courage to stand up for your convictions like Jonathan and Charles are doing. That’s what my father told me before he left. He said every man—and every woman—needs to do what they feel is the right thing to do in this war.”
“Is that why you visit your Yankee friend in Libby Prison?” Sally asked. She spoke just above a whisper.
I shivered, but not from the November chill. “Yes . . . how did you hear about Robert?”
“My father. He’s furious with you.”
“Because I refused to stop going there?”
“Yes, and because everyone in Richmond is talking about you. Helen Taylor and her mother are spreading gossip about you all over town. Daddy hates a scandal.”
“Did your father also tell you why I refused? That it’s because the Bible says when we visit those in prison it’s as if we’re visiting Jesus himself?”
Sally reached for the teapot and poured each of us a cup of tea. She wouldn’t look at me. “You have to understand my father. He’s used to getting his own way. He was very angry with you for not leaving Richmond with us last May. This incident at the prison only made matters worse. He feels responsible for you. You should try to smooth things over with him, Caroline.”
“How? He won’t be happy unless I stop going to the prison altogether, right?”
“I suppose not. But he’s threatening to write to Charles about you.”
I shivered again. “Let me ask you a question. If your father was angry with Jonathan . . . if he forbade you to see him . . . would you marry him anyway?”
Sally set her cup on the tea cart before answering. “I could never have imagined going against Daddy’s wishes before the war started. But I also couldn’t have imagined working with all those wounded men at the hospital. Now, after all we’ve been through . . . yes. I would marry Jonathan whether Daddy approved or not.”
I closed my eyes in relief. “I hope your brother feels the same way you do.”
The battle we had all been expecting took place at Fredericksburg on December 13. Once again, the victorious Confederates halted another Union drive to take Richmond. And once again, Sally and I joined with the other women of Richmond in the heartbreaking ritual of reading the casualty lists. Neither Jonathan nor Charles was listed among the more than five thousand names.
My relief was profound. Then I saw the disappointment on the face of every slave I passed on the streets and realized that for them, a Confederate victory was a defeat, their freedom that much further in the future.
I dreaded facing Robert for the same reason. He had been certain that General Burnside would succeed where the others had failed and that any moment now, Union troops would pour into the city, liberating him and his fellow prisoners. “Is it true about Fredericksburg?” he asked the moment he saw me, and I knew he must have heard about it from the gloating guards.
“Yes, it’s true. Fredericksburg was another Union defeat. I brought you the newspaper if you want to torture yourself with the details.”
He pushed it away. “I have a plan, Caroline.”
“It’s too late. The battle is over and done with. The snow is falling,