Candle in the Darkness - Lynn N. Austin [183]
Eli frowned as he took a few hesitant steps into the room. “You telling me you try and make some kinda bargain with God?”
“Yes. That’s why He answered my prayers and allowed Charles to live.”
“No, Missy . . . no,” he said, shaking his head. “That ain’t the way God does things. You can’t barter and haggle with Him like He’s a vendor down in the farmers’ market. He let Massa Charles live ’cause He have a purpose in him living, not ’cause you give Him something for it. You really want a God like that? Someone you can control and order all around—whoever gives God the most gets what they want? That the way you want Him to run the world?”
She thought of all the people, North and South, kneeling in their churches, praying for two opposing favors from God. “No . . .”
“Then let Him run things the way He knows best, according to His will. Trust Him, Missy. Trust that everything you done for Him and everything you gave up for Him has a purpose. God will give it all meaning in the end. When this war is finally over, things are gonna be the way He wants them to be—in Massa Charles’ life, in my life, and in your life, too.”
————
The fighting began in earnest at the end of March. Word quickly spread all over town that a battle was raging at Fort Stedman, outside of Petersburg. For the first time since the war began, Caroline couldn’t go to the Enquirer office to listen for news or to look for Charles’ name on the casualty lists. All of her slaves could read, but she didn’t dare send any of them to read the lists and risk discovery. She could only live in an agony of uncertainty, praying for Charles’ safety, waiting for the lists to be printed in the newspapers.
There was another battle at Five Forks on April 1. The Yankees drove the Confederates from their defenses southwest of Petersburg, taking the Southside Railroad, strangling Richmond’s last remaining supply line.
“No one talking about licking the Yankees anymore,” Eli reported from his trip downtown that afternoon. “They talking about leaving town any way they can.”
“It’s almost over,” Caroline murmured. “Seems like we’ve waited so long for this day to come, and now that it’s finally here . . . I’m scared, Eli. What on earth is going to happen to us? People have always predicted that the Yankees would run wild through the city once they captured it, raping and murdering . . .”
“Now, you know Gilbert and me ain’t gonna let no Yankees come near this house. We got your daddy’s pistols, and we certainly ain’t afraid to use them if we have to.” But Caroline was finding it harder and harder to sleep at night.
On the following morning, Sunday, April 2, the sun dawned so warm and bright that Caroline could almost believe that the Yankees were camped nine hundred miles from Richmond instead of a mere nine. Nothing disturbed the Sunday calm except the tolling of church bells as Eli went downtown to try to find out the latest news. When he finally returned home, a little before two o’clock, he made everyone gather around the table in the kitchen, even though dinner wasn’t quite ready.
“Word’s all over town that Lee’s army is in trouble. The Yankees broke through our defenses in three places and things are falling apart fast ’cause he ain’t got enough men to fight the Yankees off. General Lee send a message to President Davis while he sitting in church this morning, saying that he and everybody else better get on out of Richmond.”
“Are you certain that it isn’t just a rumor?” Caroline asked. “Because they’ve said the city was in trouble before, and the warnings were always false alarms.”
“No, this time I think the Yankees really are coming. Ain’t nothing to stop them if Lee retreats with his men. And that’s what he’s fixing to do.”
“What should we do?” she asked the people she loved, gathered all around her.
“Best thing is to pray,” Eli said, “and ask God what He thinks.”
But even after they’d prayed and had eaten the small meal Esther had