Candle in the Darkness - Lynn N. Austin [192]
Robert looked at her for a long moment in sorrow and disbelief. Then he pulled his foot out of the way and left. Ruby slammed the door behind him.
“I’m awful sorry for turning Massa Robert away like that. But everybody in the whole neighborhood looking out their windows and watching that Yankee man sashay up to your door, tying his fat Yankee horse to our post. We let him inside, they be hating you for certain.”
“Thank you, Ruby,” she said. “You did the right thing.”
But later that night, when it was dark, Robert returned. He came to the back door this time, tying his fat Yankee horse to her back gate where fewer people would see it. He was dressed in civilian clothes instead of his uniform. Even so, Caroline didn’t invite him into the house but stood outside the open drawing room doors to talk to him. The June evening was clear and warm, the sky sprinkled with stars.
“I’m sorry for coming to the front door this morning,” he said. “I never meant to get you into trouble. I didn’t know. . .”
“That I’d been caught spying?”
“There wasn’t any record of your arrest . . . I checked.”
“That’s because Richmond fell and the war ended before they had a chance to punish me for my crimes.”
“I’m sorry. I only wanted to make sure that you were all right and to see if there was anything you needed. I’m stationed here in Richmond for the time being. I can make sure that you receive food rations, that you’re protected. The army wants to show you their appreciation for all your help . . . and so do I.”
Caroline folded her arms across her chest, hugging herself. “The best way to help me is to stay far away and leave me alone. If you hang around here, bringing me food and doing special favors for me, it will only make things worse.”
“You sound so bitter, Caroline. I thought you wanted to see the Union restored and the slaves freed.”
“I did.”
“Then why. . . ?” He stopped himself. Gently, carefully, he unfolded her arms and took her left hand in his. He rubbed the empty place on her finger where the ruby ring had once been.
“What happened, Caroline?”
She bit her lip, unable to answer.
“Forgive me for hurting you, but I need to know. Your fianceé. . . ?”
“Charles survived the war,” she finally managed to say. “But he can’t forgive me for helping you.”
“How did he find out?”
“I told him.”
“I’m sorry . . . I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me, since I was the one who got you involved—”
“I don’t blame you or hate you,” she said wearily. “I could have refused to help you. I knew what I was getting into. And deep down I guess I always knew I was risking my future with Charles.”
They stood in silence for a long moment as crickets chirped and a carriage rattled past on the street out front. Caroline wanted Robert to leave, and yet she didn’t. His voice was warm, his presence comforting somehow. He was the first visitor she had talked to since her father had left on his voyage three weeks ago. And she was so very tired of being alone.
“I know my timing is probably all wrong,” Robert said quietly, “and that I’m being very insensitive, but I have to say this. I love you, Caroline. I never stopped loving you from the time we first danced together in Philadelphia. My love grew even stronger when you visited me in prison for all those months. And when you helped me escape.”
“Robert . . . please, don’t . . .”
“I would take good care of you, Caroline. We could move away from here if you wanted to, and go home to Philadelphia. Or we could start all over again someplace new, wherever you choose. I know you don’t love me yet, but maybe in time . . . they say love can sometimes grow from fondness and friendship if you give it a chance.”
Sweet, gentle Robert. He was offering to rescue her, willing to play the role he had played in Philadelphia and be her island of safety, her refuge. But was it fair to use him this way? He had always been her dear friend. Might love grow from that friendship?
She was about to answer, to tell him that it was still too soon to make such an important decision