Candle in the Darkness - Lynn N. Austin [28]
I ran upstairs to my room where Tessie was packing our things, and told her I was staying and she was going home. I bravely fought my tears as we kissed and hugged good-bye, then I hurried outside to say good-bye to Eli. As I neared the barn I heard his gentle voice, but it didn’t sound like he was talking to the horses or to Massa Jesus. I peered around the open doorway and saw him deep in conversation with his son, Josiah. I waited outside, giving them time alone. But I couldn’t help overhearing their conversation.
“There something I need you to do for me, Pa,” Josiah said. “I need you to take care Tessie for me when you get back home. She my wife now. We jump the broom the other night.”
“Son . . . you didn’t!” Eli sounded shaken. “You know you can’t marry Tessie without Massa’s say-so. And you know for sure Massa Fletcher ain’t giving it to you.”
“I don’t need no white man’s say-so.”
“Son, listen—”
“No! She’s my wife now. Ain’t no one telling me I can’t marry the woman I love.”
“Tessie’s going back to Richmond with Miss Caroline and me,” Eli said firmly. “So how you two gonna be husband and wife?”
“I plan on buying our freedom someday. I’m working as a blacksmith now. If Massa hire me out, I can earn my freedom doing extra work, then I move to town and make enough money to buy hers.”
“You know my massa ain’t never gonna sell Tessie to you. And you know why.”
“She’s my wife now!”
“Not without Massa’s say-so she ain’t. Son, the path you heading down lead to nothing but trouble. They get mad at you, they sell you south as fast as you can turn around.”
“They wouldn’t sell me—”
“They sold Grady!”
Something about the way Eli spoke those words—as if he still couldn’t believe they were true—sent a shiver through me.
“Please, Josiah,” Eli begged. “Don’t act this way.”
“I have to!” he shouted. “I’m not like you. I can’t lay down and be a dog for the massa. I’m a man, not a dog!”
Eli grabbed his son’s shirtfront and hauled him close, speaking right in his face. “Now you get one thing straight. I know I’m just as good as any white man. Ain’t no difference between me and Massa Fletcher in God’s sight. Bible say there neither slave nor free, but we all one in Christ Jesus.”
Josiah shook himself loose. “If you believe that, then why you acting all yes sir and no sir? Why you letting them white folks treat you like dirt? How can you live with yourself?”
“Because Jesus is my massa, not Massa Fletcher, and Jesus tell me I have to turn the other cheek. He say do good to them that persecute me. Night before He died, He wash all them white men’s feet, even the one who betrayed Him. And He say, ‘Do just like me.’ Jesus is God’s son and the white folk treat Him like dirt! They whip Him till He half dead, then they crucify Him. Ain’t no different than way they treat us. Jesus say, ‘Take up you cross and follow me.’ God knows how we’re treated, Josiah. He put us where we are for time being and give us a job to do. And even if I can’t see a reason why, I gonna do this job for Jesus. I gonna love white folks, whether they love me back or not, ’cause that’s what Jesus tell me to do.”
“How you know what Jesus say?” Josiah said angrily. “That’s only what them white preachers say is in the Bible. They tell us that stuff to keep us low. I don’t believe any of it. They lie to us.”
“They not lying. That’s what the Bible really say.”
“How you know?”
“ ’Cause I can read it for myself!”
The shock of Eli’s words seemed to rip through the air like a whip. The hair on my arms stood on end. “You have to kill a Negro if he learns to read.”
Josiah stared at his father, stunned. Eli seemed shaken by his own confession, too. In a quieter voice, he said, “I know how to read, son.