Candle in the Darkness - Lynn N. Austin [66]
“I argue about slavery all the time in Washington,” Charles continued. “I can do it in my sleep. But I’m not used to debating with a woman—especially such a beautiful woman. And to be frank, I’ve rarely known one who had anything intelligent to say about political matters. You’ve turned my comfortable world upside down, Caroline. And I’m forced to admit that you were right about at least one thing—I should have bought that little Negro boy an apple.”
I was so moved by his words, so captivated by his extraordinary blend of humility and charm, that I couldn’t speak. Suddenly, Jonathan’s friend Roger bounded over and tapped Charles’ shoulder, breaking the spell.
“Excuse me. May I have the next dance with you, Miss Fletcher?”
I had to decide. If I accepted this dance with Roger, then Charles would probably walk away, perhaps for good. If I refused it, Charles would know that I had feelings for him. I thought of Tessie’s words about not having a second chance with love, and I made my choice.
“I’m sorry, Roger, but Mr. St. John has the next dance.”
Charles closed his eyes, briefly, as Roger walked away. I heard him exhale. “What do we do now?” he asked when he opened them again.
“Maybe we could stop arguing for once and listen to each other.”
He pulled me into his arms again and waltzed me smoothly around the dance floor. For a long time neither of us spoke, then Charles said, “There is some truth in your arguments about slavery, but they are too simplistic. Besides, this dangerous rift between North and South is not about slavery. It’s about states’ rights.”
“But the right they want to preserve is the right to hold slaves.”
“Slavery is necessary to the South’s economy.”
“True, but that doesn’t make it morally right.”
His grip on my hand tightened. I could sense that he was waging a struggle within himself. “Even if we agreed to abolish slavery tomorrow,” he said, “what would the millions of Negroes do with their freedom? Where would they live? How would they support themselves? The abolitionists have never come up with a sensible plan. And don’t give me that nonsense about Liberia—do your slaves all want to move back to Africa?”
“No, but surely our lawmakers in Washington could come up with a better plan if they put their minds to it. The Negroes deserve the right to have dreams of their own, to live with their families, to know that their children won’t be sold out of their arms.”
“Listen now. Not every slave owner is that cruel.”
“If even one of them is, then it’s wrong. Have you ever befriended a Negro, Charles?”
“My family has always treated our servants well. I was very fond of the mammy who cared for us when we were small.”
“But are you friends with anyone now, as an equal? Have you listened to his thoughts and dreams?”
“Truthfully? No. Have you?”
“Yes. That’s why I feel the way I do. It’s not because I’ve swallowed all of the abolitionists’ propaganda. It’s because of Tessie and Eli. I wish you could meet them.”
He seemed to wrestle with the idea for a moment before saying, “I think I’d like to.”
When the waltz ended, Charles steered me out of the noisy ballroom, his hand resting lightly on my back. I felt as though I no longer had any bones in my legs. We found a quiet corner outside on the terrace where we could talk.
“I wasn’t sure we could do it,” I said.
“Do what?”
“Talk to each other for more than five minutes without fighting. But see? Nearly twenty minutes have passed, and you haven’t told me once how infuriating I am.”
He smiled. “I knew the first day we met that you were an unusual woman. I’d certainly never met one before who was as outspoken as you—not to mention one who went around clubbing suspected slave drivers with her bag. I thought you were just parroting empty words, Caroline, but you aren’t. You really believe what you say. You really care. I’m sorry I misjudged you.”
“Will you forgive me for allowing the Negro boy to escape?”
Charles laughed out loud. “Certainly. But that little thief is still loose on the streets of Richmond, you know. It would serve you