Caprice and Rondo - Dorothy Dunnett [289]
All the same …
He had made his preparations and was about to bang on the door and shout his complaint when he heard footsteps approaching and saw the rim of light under the door. When it opened, there were no armed men behind, only the small, athletic figure of Katelijne Sersanders, bearing a candle. She said, ‘Knock me down if you must, but I came to tell you not to be silly. You can’t possibly manage this on your own.’
He sat down.
She said, ‘Don’t. Don’t. It does all depend on you, but you must keep your head. There isn’t time for anything else.’ She added shakily, ‘I’ll go out and come back in again, if you like.’
He lifted his face, his lips pressed together, until he could speak. Then he looked at her. ‘No,’ he said. He let his liquid breath drain away.
Kathi said, ‘Ask about the children.’
‘How are the children?’
She set down the candle, drew up a stool and sat down. He remained on the bed, back to the wall, but had allowed his braced arms to bend round his knees. She said, ‘Margaret will have her second birthday in January. Perpetual health and divine grace, except when she is teething.’
‘Dulie Griet,’ he said. It meant furious Margaret. It was the name of a cannon. It meant he was recovering.
‘So Jodi often remarks. He likes her,’ Kathi said. ‘Rankin, on the other hand, is a boy, and therefore a rival. Jodi remembers you very well: Gelis tells him about you. There is a parcel of drawings you will have to appraise. Other things, too. Some boxes came from Montello. She has been waiting for you to come.’
‘How remarkable,’ Nicholas said, ‘that a simple query about your family should shift so quickly to mine. You are happy about the children. I can see that you are.’
‘I find them rather nice. Like Robin,’ Kathi said. ‘And I let Robin go because he’d never forgive me for refusing, when we are both old and fat, but he is still three years younger than I am. You know Tobie is married to Clémence?’
He straightened, leaving the wall. ‘Na baba. You aren’t serious?’
‘Hooks marrying the Cods? Of course I’m serious: they’re perfect for one another. He brushes his teeth every day, and she’s working out what makes him sneeze. Jodi has his own minder and tutor, but still sees Clémence a lot, and she’s been a godsend to Gelis. Aren’t you cold?’
‘I am warmed by your alchemy,’ Nicholas said. ‘The Book of Amazing Retorts. I have blankets. We could sit like addorsed birds and share them.’
‘We could light the brazier,’ Kathi said. ‘There’s one in that corner.’ And, as they dragged it out and set the candle solicitously to it: ‘So did you turn to drugs,’ Kathi said, ‘when you found out what Anna was like?’ She sat down again on her stool. Her hands trembled.
Nicholas remained standing. He mouthed, ‘Mary, Mother of God,’ like a fish out of water.
‘If you’re all right, we have to talk about it soon. She said it was because of your grandfather. She spent a lot of time suggesting how we could help you. I thought she was the perfect companion: the friend you needed to guide you. She kept asking us to send Gelis, and Jodi. Did you take drugs? Was that why?’
Nicholas sat. The brazier flickered. He said, ‘No, I didn’t. I wasn’t in an especially hilarious mood. But mainly, I was trying to frighten her a little.’ He broke off, his eyes resting on Kathi. He said, ‘You have nothing to blame yourself for. It was my choice to go with her. I admired her, I even wanted her, but I did nothing about it. I didn’t realise that she was missing Julius, and desperate for a lover. Then, when I disappointed her, she turned the knife on herself. That was all.’
He heard her sigh. She said, ‘Nicholas. You must know who she is.’
His heart disengaged, idled, and resumed beating slowly in axe-blows. Whoever is unsupported by the Mystery of Love shall not achieve the grace of salvation. Whoever shall cast love aside shall lose everything. He said, ‘There is nothing to talk about.’
‘Yes, there is,’ Kathi said. ‘You kept your word to yourself and your family. You didn’t betray her. We found out for ourselves. But she is relentless. Even Julius is