Cardington Crescent - Anne Perry [11]
3
EMILY WOKE VERY early in the morning, even before the housemaids were up, and reviewed the situation. Last night’s crisis had swept away the paralysis of indecision, the fending off of the knowledge which she knew must come with all its misery. She made a resolution. She would fight! Sybilla was not going to win simply because Emily had neither the wit nor the strength to give her a battle, however far it had gone. And she was obliged to admit, briefly and painfully, that it had probably gone all the way—witness George’s alacrity in provoking an excuse to sleep in the dressing room. Even so, Emily would use every skill she possessed to win him back. And she had a great deal of skill. After all, she had won him in the first place, against considerable odds.
If she were to continue to appear as wretched as she felt, she would embarrass the rest of the household and lay herself open to a pity that would not comfortably be forgotten, even when the affair was over and she had won. Most important, it would not be in the least attractive to George; like most men he loved a gay and charming woman who had enough sense to keep her troubles to herself. An excess of emotion, especially in public, would make him acutely uncomfortable. Far from winning him away from Sybilla, it would drive him further into her arms.
Therefore, Emily would act the role of her life. She would be so utterly charming and delightful George would find Sybilla a pale copy, a shadow, and Emily again the true substance.
For three days she kept up her charade without noticeable failure. If she felt close to weeping again she was sure no one else saw it—except perhaps Great-aunt Vespasia, who saw everything. But she did not mind that. Behind the ineffable elegance and the radical humor, Aunt Vespasia was the one person who cared for her.
However, it had proved so difficult at times she was all but overcome with the futility of it. She was bound to fail. She knew her voice sounded flat, her smile must be sickly. But since there was nothing else with any hope of success, after a moment’s solitude—perhaps merely in walking from one room to another—she had renewed her effort, trying with every strength she possessed to be amusing, considerate, and courteous. She even forced herself to be civil to old Mrs. March, although she could not resist exercising her wit on her in her absence, to the rather exuberant laughter of Jack Radley.
By dinner on the third day it was becoming extremely difficult. They were all most formally dressed, Emily in pale green, Sybilla in indigo, sitting round the monstrous mahogany table in the dining room. Rust red velvet curtains, heavily swagged and draped, and too many pictures on the wall made Emily feel suffocated. It was almost unendurable to force the smile to her lips, to dredge up from a weary and fearful imagination some light and flippant remark. She pushed the food round her plate without eating and sipped more and more wine.
She must not do anything as obvious as flirting with William; that would be seen as retaliation—even by George, uninterested as he was—and certainly by everyone else. Old Mrs. March’s needle eyes missed nothing. She had been a widow forty years, presiding over her domestic kingdom with a will of iron and an insatiable curiosity. Emily must be equally entertaining, equally delightful to everyone—including Sybilla—as befitted a woman of her position, even if it choked her. She was careful not to cap other people’s stories, and to laugh while meeting their eyes, so as to appear sincere.
She searched for the appropriate compliment, just truthful enough to be believed, and listened with attention to Eustace’s interminably boring anecdotes about his athletic exploits when younger. He was a great and vociferous believer in “a healthy mind in a healthy body” and had no time for aesthetes. His disappointment was implicit in every phrase, and watching William’s tense face across the table, Emily found it increasingly hard to