Cards on the Table - Agatha Christie [1]
‘But it is not so luxuriant,’ he murmured to himself. ‘No, decidedly it is inferior in every respect. Tout de même, it catches the eye.’
The whole of Mr Shaitana’s person caught the eye—it was designed to do so. He deliberately attempted a Mephistophelian effect. He was tall and thin, his face was long and melancholy, his eyebrows were heavily accented and jet black, he wore a moustache with stiff waxed ends and a tiny black imperial. His clothes were works of art—of exquisite cut—but with a suggestion of bizarre.
Every healthy Englishman who saw him longed earnestly and fervently to kick him! They said, with a singular lack of originality, ‘There’s that damned Dago, Shaitana!’
Their wives, daughters, sisters, aunts, mothers, and even grandmothers said, varying the idiom according to their generation, words to this effect: ‘I know, my dear. Of course, he is too terrible. But so rich! And such marvellous parties! And he’s always got something amusing and spiteful to tell you about people.’
Whether Mr Shaitana was an Argentine, or a Portuguese, or a Greek, or some other nationality rightly despised by the insular Briton, nobody knew.
But three facts were quite certain:
He existed richly and beautifully in a super flat in Park Lane.
He gave wonderful parties—large parties, small parties, macabre parties, respectable parties and definitely ‘queer’ parties.
He was a man of whom nearly everybody was a little afraid.
Why this last was so can hardly be stated in definite words. There was a feeling, perhaps, that he knew a little too much about everybody. And there was a feeling, too, that his sense of humour was a curious one.
People nearly always felt that it would be better not to risk offending Mr Shaitana.
It was his humour this afternoon to bait that ridiculous-looking little man, Hercule Poirot.
‘So even a policeman needs recreation?’ he said. ‘You study the arts in your old age, M. Poirot?’
Poirot smiled good-humouredly.
‘I see,’ he said, ‘that you yourself have lent three snuff-boxes to the Exhibition.’
Mr Shaitana waved a deprecating hand.
‘One picks up trifles here and there. You must come to my flat one day. I have some interesting pieces. I do not confine myself to any particular period or class of object.’
‘Your tastes are catholic,’ said Poirot smiling.
‘As you say.’
Suddenly Mr Shaitana’s eyes danced, the corners of his lips curled up, his eyebrows assumed a fantastic tilt.
‘I could even show you objects in your own line, M. Poirot!’
‘You have then a private “Black Museum”.’
‘Bah!’ Mr Shaitana snapped disdainful fingers. ‘The cup used by the Brighton murderer, the jemmy of a celebrated burglar—absurd childishness! I should never burden myself with rubbish like that. I collect only the best objects of their kind.’
‘And what do you consider the best objects, artistically speaking, in crime?’ inquired Poirot.
Mr Shaitana leaned forward and laid two fingers on Poirot’s shoulder. He hissed his words dramatically.
‘The human beings who commit them, M. Poirot.’
Poirot’s eyebrows rose a trifle.
‘Aha, I have startled you,’ said Mr Shaitana. ‘My dear, dear man, you and I look on these things as from poles apart! For you crime is a matter of routine: a murder, an investigation, a clue, and ultimately (for you are undoubtedly an able fellow) a conviction. Such banalities would not interest me! I am not interested in poor specimens of any kind. And the caught murderer is necessarily one of the failures. He is second-rate. No, I look on the matter from the artistic point of view. I collect only the best!’
‘The best being—?’ asked Poirot.
‘My dear fellow—the ones who have got away with it! The successes! The criminals who lead an agreeable life which no breath of suspicion has ever touched. Admit that is an amusing hobby.’
‘It was another word I was thinking of—not amusing.’
‘An idea!’ cried Shaitana, paying no attention to Poirot.