Cat O'Nine Tales and Other Stories - Jeffrey Archer [52]
“I can assure you, m’lady, that she will comply with your ruling,” replied Fiona’s solicitor.
“So be it,” said Mrs. Justice Butler. “We will adjourn until tomorrow morning at ten o’clock, when I will look forward to considering Mrs. Radford’s two lists.”
Carol and I took Bob out for dinner that night—a pointless exercise. He rarely opened his mouth to either eat or speak.
“Let her have everything,” he finally ventured over coffee, “because that’s the only way I’m ever going to be rid of the woman.”
“But your aunt wouldn’t have left you her fortune if she’d known this would have been the eventual outcome.”
“Neither Aunt Muriel nor I worked that one out,” Bob replied with resignation. “And you can’t fault Fiona’s timing. She only needed another month after meeting my dear aunt before she accepted my proposal.” Bob turned and stared at me, an accusing look in his eyes. “Why didn’t you warn me not to marry her?” he demanded.
When the judge entered the courtroom the following morning all the officials were already in place. The two adversaries were seated next to their solicitors. All those in the well of the court rose and bowed as Mrs. Justice Butler resumed her place, leaving only Mrs. Abbott on her feet.
“Has your client had enough time to prepare her two lists?” inquired the judge, as she stared down at Fiona’s counsel.
“She has indeed, m’lady,” said Mrs. Abbott, “and both are ready for your consideration.”
The judge nodded to the clerk of the court. He walked slowly across to Mrs. Abbott, who handed over the two lists. The clerk then walked slowly back to the bench and passed them up to the judge for her consideration.
Mrs. Justice Butler took her time studying the two inventories, occasionally nodding, even adding the odd “Urn,” while Mrs. Abbott remained on her feet. Once the judge had reached the last items on the lists, she turned her attention back to counsel’s bench.
“Am I to understand,” inquired Mrs. Justice Butler, “that both parties consider this to be a fair and equitable distribution of all the assets in question?”
“Yes, m’lady,” said Mrs. Abbott firmly, on behalf of her client.
“I see,” said the judge and, turning to Mr. Dexter, asked, “Does this also meet with your client’s approval?”
Mr. Dexter hesitated. “Yes, m’lady,” he eventually managed, unable to mask the irony in his voice.
“So be it.” Fiona smiled for the first time since the case had opened. The judge returned her smile. “However, before I pass judgment,” she continued, “I still have one question for Mr. Radford.” Bob glanced at his solicitor before rising nervously from his seat. He looked up at the judge.
What more can she want? was my only thought as I sat staring down from the gallery.
“Mr. Radford,” began the judge, “we have all heard your wife tell the court that she considers these two lists to be a fair and equitable division of all your assets.”
Bob bowed his head and remained silent.
“However, before I pass judgment, I need to be sure that you agree with that assessment.”
Bob raised his head. He seemed to hesitate a moment, but then said, “I do, m’lady”
“Then I am left with no choice in this matter,” declared Mrs. Justice Butler. She paused, and stared directly down at Fiona, who was still smiling. “As I allowed Mrs. Radford the opportunity to prepare these two lists,” continued the judge, “which in her judgment are an equitable and fair division of your assets—” Mrs. Justice Butler was pleased to see Fiona nodding her agreement—”then it must also be fair and equitable,” the judge added, turning her attention back to Bob, “to allow Mr. Radford the opportunity to select which of the two lists he would prefer.”
Know What
I Mean?
“If you wanna find out what’s goin’ on in this nick, I’m the I man to ‘ave a word with,” said Doug. “Know what I mean?”
Every prison has one. At North Sea Camp his name was Doug Haslett. Doug was half an inch under six foot, with thick, black,