Charmed Life - Diana Wynne Jones [47]
“Why are you laughing?” said Janet.
“Gwendolen always stamps when she’s angry too,” said Cat.
“Gah!” said Janet.
11
B Y THE TIME Janet had laced both her boots, Cat was sure it was lunchtime. He hurried Janet back to the private door. They had nearly reached it when a thick voice spoke among the rhododendrons.
“Young lady! Here a minute!”
Janet gave Cat an alarmed look and they both hurried for the door. It was not a pleasant voice. The rhododendrons clashed and rustled indignantly beside them. A fat old man in a dirty raincoat spilled out of them. Before they had recovered from the surprise of seeing him, he had scuttled around between them and the door, where he stood looking at them reproachfully out of drooping red eyes and breathing beer-scented breath over them.
“Hallo, Mr. Baslam,” Cat said, for Janet’s benefit.
“Didn’t you hear me, young lady?” Mr. Baslam demanded.
Cat could see Janet was frightened of him, but she answered as coolly as Gwendolen might have done. “Yes, but I thought it was the tree speaking.”
“The tree speaking!” said Mr. Baslam. “After all the trouble I been to for you, you take me for a tree! Three whole pints of bitter I had to buy that butcher to have him bring me in that cart of his, and I’m fair jolted to bits!”
“What do you want?” Janet said nervously.
It’s like this,” said Mr. Baslam. He pulled aside his raincoat and searched slowly in the pockets of his loopy trousers.
“We have to go in for lunch,” said Cat.
“All in good time, young gentleman. Here we are,” said Mr. Baslam. He held his pale, grubby hand out towards Janet with two twinkling things in it. “These.”
“Those are my mother’s earrings!” Cat said, in surprise and for Janet’s benefit. “How did you get those?”
“Your sister give them to me to pay for a little matter of some dragons’ blood,” said Mr. Baslam. “And I dare say it was in good faith, young lady, but they’re no good to me.”
“Why not?” asked Janet. “They look like—I mean, they’re real diamonds.”
“True enough,” said Mr. Baslam. “But you never told me they was charmed, did you? They got a fearsome strong spell on them to stop them getting lost, these have. Terrible noisy spell. They was all night in the stuffed rabbit shouting out ‘I belong to Caroline Chant,’ and this morning I has to wrap them in a blanket before I dares take them to a man I know. And he wouldn’t touch them. He said he wasn’t going to risk anything shouting the name of Chant. So have them back, young lady. And you owe me fifty-five quid.”
Janet swallowed. So did Cat. “I’m very sorry,” Janet said. “I really had no idea. But—but I’m afraid I haven’t any source of income at all. Couldn’t you get the charm taken off?”
“And risk inquiries?” said Mr. Baslam. “That charm’s deep in, I tell you.”
“Then why aren’t they shouting now?” said Cat.
“What do you think I am?” said Mr. Baslam. “Could I sit in the joints of mutton shouting out I belonged to Miss Chant? No. This man I know obliges me with a bit of a spell on account. But he says to me, he says, ‘I can’t only shut them up for an hour or so. That’s a real strong charm. If you want it took off permanent, you’d have to take them to an enchanter. And that would cost you as much as the earrings are worth, besides getting questions asked.’ Enchanters are important people, young lady. So here I sits in them bushes, scared to death the spell’s going to wear off before you comes by, and now you say you’ve no income! No—you have them back, young lady, and hand over a little something on account instead.”
Janet looked nervously at Cat. Cat sighed and felt in his pockets. All he had was half a crown. He offered it to Mr. Baslam.
Mr. Baslam backed away from it with a hurt, drooping look, like a whipped St. Bernard. “Fifty-five quid I ask for, and you offer me half a crown! Son, are you having a joke on me?”
“It’s all either of us has got,” said Cat, “at the moment. But we each get a crown piece every week. If we give you that, we’ll have paid you back in—” He did hurried calculations. Ten shillings a week, fifty-two weeks in a year, twenty-six