Chasing the Night - Iris Johansen [33]
“He meant that he’d threatened Luke with weapons.”
“Is that what he meant? Or was it something else?”
Catherine shook her head. “He lies. I can’t tell what’s true and what’s not.” Her grip tightened on the cup. “Except about Luke’s being dead. He’s not dead. Why would he worry if I found out what my son looked like? Why would he try to discourage me?” She added bitterly, “And, yes, I know there’s no telling why Rakovac would do anything. The son of a bitch is crazy.”
“According to the dossier I pulled on him, he may be a little unbalanced, but he’s clever,” Joe said. “And I think he had a purpose other than wanting to toy with you.”
“I do, too,” Eve said. “And I believe I’ll thumb my nose at him and finish that progression ASAP.” She finished her coffee and stood up. “I’ll start the dishwasher, then hit the computer.”
“I’ll go with you,” Catherine said quickly.
Eve shook her head as she moved toward the door. “Give yourself a few minutes. Your hands are shaking. I don’t want you touching Cindy yet.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Catherine said.
Eve suddenly grinned as she paused at the door. “When was the last time you said that?”
“Never,” Catherine said. “I’m not very obedient, and I don’t know many women.”
“I thought so. It sounded a little awkward.” Eve went into the house.
“She’s right.” Joe was smiling with amusement. “You’re very articulate, but that did sound awkward.”
“This entire situation is awkward for me,” Catherine said. “I had to beg Eve to do this progression for me. I’ve never begged anyone for anything before.” Her lips twisted. “Except Rakovac. I begged him to return Luke. He laughed at me.”
“And Eve listened and helped you. Do you resent her having that kind of power over you?”
“No, of course—” She stopped. “Maybe. I don’t have a generous spirit. I want it all. I want to keep my pride and still get everything I want.”
“That’s understandable. I’d say everyone has that philosophy.”
“Do you?”
He thought about it. “I have almost everything I want. A job I like, my adopted daughter, Jane, Eve…”
“Almost,” she repeated. “What else, Joe?”
He didn’t answer.
She tilted her head, studying him. “Maybe…an Eve with no obsession about finding her daughter’s killer?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Because you’d never be disloyal to Eve in any way. Still, you might consider that a breach in the relationship if she closes you out. I can see how you might come to resent it. Obsession is a terrible and all-consuming thing.” She shrugged. “Who should know better? I’m just as obsessed as Eve. Though I’m lucky, I’m alone. I don’t have to worry about anyone else.”
“Really? Are you lucky, Catherine?”
She gazed at him standing there, leaning against the railing. Slim hips, broad shoulders, tea-colored eyes staring intently at her; mature, intelligent, with a quietness that could mask power and leashed recklessness.
“Are you lucky to be alone, Catherine?” he repeated.
She had a sudden memory of Joe holding her, warm, strong, absorbing all the pain that Rakovac had inflicted.
“No.” She jumped to her feet. “But I don’t know anything else, and at least I’m not hurting anyone.” She avoided his eyes as she headed for the door. “I’ve got to help Eve. Thanks for being there for me tonight. I’ll try not to fall apart again.”
“No problem.”
She had an inkling there was definitely a problem. Being with Joe Quinn was making her aware of what she was missing. Eve and Joe had a relationship that was like a deep, strong river and yet Catherine could see the exciting rapids that still ran through it. She had never known a relationship with that intensity. She had loved Terry, but it had been a comfortable affection comprised of gratitude and common likes and dislikes. They had both wanted a home and child and passion had not been that important.
Eve and Joe had passion. A passion for each other and a passion for their life together. They didn’t display it blatantly, but every glance revealed it.
She wanted that passion for living. She was tired of just surviving.
Good Lord, was