Chasing the Night - Iris Johansen [66]
Kelly’s nails dug into her palms. She should be with them. Catherine had saved her life, and now she couldn’t do anything to make sure that Catherine didn’t die in that swamp. It was all very well for Catherine to say that analyzing the patterns was the only way that Kelly could be valuable to them. It was a very sterile and cerebral path when she wanted to be slogging away with them in that swamp, trying to find that skeleton.
“I want to go, too,” Natalie said quietly.
“Then why didn’t you argue? You didn’t say a word when they just assumed that you’d be staying behind.”
“I never argue with Kelsov.”
“Why not?”
“I have to stay with him. He might send me away.”
“Then it would be his loss. From what little I’ve seen, you seem to run this house and keep everything ticking.”
“I have to stay with him.”
“Anyone would be happy to have you work for them.” She smiled. “Particularly since you’re willing to protect them by shooting anyone who threatens them.”
“But I wouldn’t be happy.” She turned away. “Catherine said you need a shower and rest. I’ll make up Kelsov’s bed for you.” She looked back over her shoulder. “Can you really do what Catherine said? It sounds very strange. Can you find Rakovac?”
“If I have enough pieces to the puzzle. Will you help me?”
“You mean talk about Rakovac.” Natalie was silent. “It will…hurt me.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“But Kelsov wants me to talk to you.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to do it. The report Venable gave me may be enough.”
“But you’re not sure.”
“No, I’m not sure.” She shrugged. “But I’m very good at this, Natalie. My brain is kind of…kooky. And I’ve been doing this since I was a little girl. Sometimes I see a pattern right away. Sometimes it takes me a long time, but it always comes.”
“Always?”
She nodded. “There are times when I wish it didn’t. Sometimes it scares me.”
“I can see that it might. It would scare me to know where Rakovac was. Right now, he’s like an ugly storm in the distance. But if I knew where he was, then he’d be real to me again.” She whispered, “And I’d know I’d have to go and find him.”
“There seem to be plenty of people who are willing to do that for you.”
“Yes, but I have to do it. I’m frightened, but it has to be me.”
“Why?”
She was silent. “Because I think that’s the only way the nightmares would stop.”
Kelly knew about nightmares. “Maybe it would help to talk.” She made a face. “I sound like one of those psychiatrists that those social workers wanted to send me to. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do. What do I know? I’m just a kid. I know about these patterns and not much else. And even when I can figure out where those patterns are taking me, I can’t do anything about it.” She turned and headed for the door. “But I’m going to do something this time. I’m not going to let it beat me. And you shouldn’t either. Stand up to Kelsov and tell him that you’ll do what you want to do.”
“That’s not easy.”
“I know. We’ll both have to work at it. Come on, I have to get some sleep, so that I’ll be fresh to start to pull up those files.”
Lima, Peru
Santa Theresa Cathedral
2:55 P.M.
Holy Jesus send me a miracle.
Pedro Gonzalez’s hands clenched on the rosary his wife had given him for his birthday, his gaze fixed desperately on the gold crucifix above the altar.
Save us all.
Save me from condemning my soul to hell.
Why was he here? Even God would not forgive the sin he was going to commit.
Yet Jesus had forgiven the world that had crucified him.
Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me.
Did God even hear him?
The tears were running down his cheeks as he buried his face in his hands.
The bell was tolling.
Three o’clock. He would have to leave. It was almost time. Blessed Savior, let it not happen.
Holy Mother, save us all.
But there was no answer, no divine intervention. His soul was doomed.
Svedrun, Russia
Ivanova Region
They reached the village of Svedrun late that afternoon. It was a barren, brown, marshy flatland that reminded Eve of the marshes she’d seen in England.