Choosing to SEE - Mary Beth Chapman [45]
Middle school was also the season in Emily’s life when her body started changing. She was not one of those skinny-mini girls with an overactive metabolism. Like many of us, she got wider before she got taller. It was so hard to find clothes that fit her like they did on “other” girls. I anguished for Emily as I remembered the sting of being called “Chubby Chapman” in my own early years.
We avoided shopping. It usually led to tears, frustration, and self-hatred. One afternoon, I went out on my own and returned with a bunch of clothes for Emily. She started making her way through the pile, taking each outfit, trying it on in the bathroom, and coming out to show me.
But her frustration grew with every outfit she put on. Her eyes filled with tears. She didn’t look like the size zero girls in the clothing ads or the girls at school who could throw on tiny jeans and have them fit just right. By the time Steven came home, Emily and I were both crying on the floor, surrounded by shopping bags and heaps of rejected clothes.
It was after this fashion show gone wrong that Steven wrote the lyrics of his song “Fingerprints of God.” Mature as she was for her age, Emily didn’t recognize the beauty we saw in her. And she certainly didn’t understand how unique she was in the eyes of God. But as Steven’s song became a hit and connected with so very many people, Emily realized that she wasn’t alone in her inadequate feelings . . . and gradually she learned to place her worth in God’s view of her rather than the fashion magazines’ perspective. It wasn’t like she had it all figured out perfectly. But Emily began the lifelong journey of learning to rest in who God had created her to be. She found that her worth was not in what she could do but in what had been done for her through Christ.
Even during those tough teenage years, though, Emily adored her little sisters from China. Shaoey joined the family during Emily’s final year of middle school, and Stevey Joy came home while Emily was in high school.
Emily spent countless hours in the dress-up closet playing princess with the little girls. She took care of them and saved my sanity when Steven was traveling and Caleb and Will had places to be, and I was just one parent running back and forth between five children.
Then, during Emily’s final year of high school, Steven became convinced we should adopt again. Emily, our outspoken adoption advocate who had relentlessly campaigned for us to bring home her first two sisters, was surprisingly resistant to the idea of gaining another sibling. She says that part of her reservation was selfish: she wanted focused attention from all of us since it was her last year living at home. But she also knew how much stress would fall on my shoulders with her heading to college in the fall, Steven launching his “All Things New” tour, and neither Caleb nor Will being old enough to drive.
But in her thoughtful and deliberate way, Emily came to Steven and me and said something like this: “Mom and Dad, I’m a bit weary about the idea of adding another child to the Chapman clan. But if God confirms in your hearts that we’re to welcome home another little girl from China, I’ll support you and watch expectantly for what God will accomplish!”
God did bring Maria into our family, and it didn’t take long for Emily to have a change of heart about her adoption. Of course, none of us knew quite what to expect once Maria came into the picture . . . or all the things God was going to do through her little life.
18
I Just Met a Girl Named Maria
I found you in the most unlikely way
But really it was You who found me . . .
I wish You could stay
But I’ll, I’ll wait for the day
And I watch as the cold winter melts into spring
And I’ll be remembering You
Oh and I’ll smell the flowers and hear the birds sing
And I’ll be remembering You, I’ll be remembering You
From the first moment when I heard Your name
Something in my heart came alive
You showed me love and no words could explain . . .
And though You