Choosing to SEE - Mary Beth Chapman [71]
Some of you know that with young children, it’s hard to find time to be alone in an intimate way. One morning it was early and Steven and I were together, and Maria came walking into our room.
She was always the first one up, and I’m sorry that I ever complained about it now, but she woke up talking a hundred miles a minute and she went to bed talking a hundred miles a minute.
And so she came busting into our bedroom early one morning while Steven and I were connecting – I’m sorry y’all, it’s okay, Maria would want us to laugh even though maybe this is grief and I’m really going to regret this tomorrow when it all comes crashing down. Anyway, she comes crashing into our room while we were together, and luckily there were covers over us . . . but she just stopped and looked at us with her little eyes as big as they could get and said, “What are ya’ll all like (putting her little hands all crinkled together) smushed together for?”
She was so full of a million questions, and that’s one of the last questions I ever heard her ask me!
Every time I got to ask her a question I’d say, “Maria, do you know how much Mommy loves you?” She’d always answer, “To infinity . . . and beyond!”
And she was right.
Steven Curtis Chapman
Well, obviously I’m married to a very amazing, incredible, and uh, unpredictable wife! And I’ve just been blown away at watching God reveal Himself through her.
You guys, help us live differently because of this! We don’t know what “normal” is or will ever be, but we don’t want to go back to it, because time is short. We’ve looked into eternity . . . we’re doing it today. This is the kind of thing we need to spend our time doing, just seeing and celebrating the glory of God where it shows up, in the pain and the joy He gives us in this life.
You know, I think Maria would say to us today, “Taste and SEE that the Lord is good.” Maria loved tasty things. She loved to eat. And she would say, “See, just SEE the glory of God today!”
If you’ve never seen it, if you’ve been afraid to see it or too proud to see it or whatever, just see the goodness of God in the midst of this. We can’t see it all right now. Like Caleb said, it’s a huge painting, it’s too big to perceive all at once and we have to keep backing up to see it. But allow Him to remove the fear of death from your heart, reveal and show His love to you so you can know, really know Him!
Thank you all for coming.
“God Is God”
Words and music by
Steven Curtis Chapman
And the pain falls like a curtain
On the things I once called certain
And I have to say the words I fear the most
I just don’t know
God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He’s painting
God is God and I am man
So I’ll never understand it all
For only God is God
28
Goodbye . . .
Why have I waited for so long To be singing you this song I thought that time was all I had I have so much left to say But time has faded now
Caleb Chapman
Then the Lord said to him, “Take off the sandals from your feet, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.”
Acts 7:33
After the service, we got into a long, white limousine that was waiting to take us to the cemetery. Another limo followed, full of extended family and close friends. Then there were hundreds of cars behind that.
The silence is the noise I still hear inside my head. Not a word was spoken. Shock. It was so hard to believe that we were actually riding in a funeral procession following a hearse that carried the shell of our sweet Maria. Shouldn’t she be riding in the car with us? Shouldn’t she be hanging from the ceiling, making us all laugh and worry about her safety at the same time?
We were facing what we knew was going to be one of the most difficult moments of this whole nightmare. Surely we would wake up before we had to do it, before we had to put Maria’s body into