Church Folk - Michele Andrea Bowen [16]
"Now, before I go on, church," he said, his lush baritone voice sending a shiver or two through a few young women in the congregation, "I need to explain myself a bit. See, I don't want to go back to Memphis and wake up in the middle of the night in pain because my ears feeling like they're on fire because you fine folks are discussing how I preached that strange sermon at your church."
Mount Nebo's First Lady, Mrs. Susie James, was sitting on a front-row pew, just a few feet away from the altar. She looked at Theophilus and said, "No need to be frettin' about what you think we gonna say when you gone. Folks at Mount Nebo honest people. We get you told to your face. Now go on and preach!"
A few chuckles circulated around the church because Mrs. Susie James always made it her business to give her own distinct response to Mount Nebo's guest preachers.
Theophilus smiled at Mrs. James. "If the First Lady says hurry up with this sermon, I guess I'd better quit tarrying and give you all a piece of what God inspired to come on into my mind. You see, church, when St. Paul told men to love their wives like Christ loved the church, he left out something."
"And, what did he leave out?" Rev. James asked as he leaned forward in his seat in the pulpit.
"Well, Rev. James," Theophilus said, turning around to look at him. "Paul left out the juice."
"The juice? Well, well, well."
"Yes, Reverend, he left out the juice. And I don't have to tell you that most good stuff like collard greens, pot roast, baked ham, watermelon, peaches, and so forth is not worth too much without the juice. Church, if you leave out the juice, you leave out the best stuff."
Theophilus started getting nervous again when he saw a raised eyebrow on the face of a trustee sitting in the front pew across from Mrs. James. He was looking at him like he wanted to say, "Son, what in the heck you talkin' 'bout?"
He rolled his shoulders again and boldly pressed ahead. "You see, when Paul spoke to us in the Bible, he commanded us men to love our women like Jesus loved the church too dry and neat-like. Now think about it. There is nothing dry and neat-like about love—especially that good kind of loving that is chock-full of passion."
There were a few surprised gasps in the congregation. Mount Nebo had never had a preacher come close to talking about man-woman love, let alone "that good kind of loving that is chock-full of passion."
Rev. James raised his eyebrows and then relaxed them. He had known Theophilus for a few years and had heard him preach more than one controversial sermon in that time. He was confident that Theophilus would deliver a sermon the congregation could use in their daily lives—even if he did shock the socks off of them before he made his point.
Lee Allie nudged Essie and told her to poke Rose Neese in her side so that she could get her attention. The two women looked at each other, behind Essie's back, and said with their eyes, "I don't believe that boy stood there and said that."
"Now, church," Theophilus went on, "you all will have to bear with me. I know this sermon is different and provoking. But you all have to realize that sometimes God pokes at us and the best way to poke is to provoke. So I'm gonna poke and provoke this morning until I finish saying what God is laying heavy on my heart."
He steadied himself at the pulpit podium and continued: "Now, church, real love between a man and a woman ain't all neat and tidy like we think St. Paul is talking about in Corinthians. I hope he understood that real love was a whole lot messier than that. Because real passionate love can throw your heart, mind, and body every which way but loose. Gentlemen, you all know that when a woman truly stirs your heart, every part of you goes into a fit and you can almost feel the blood rushing through your veins whenever she is near.
"And you ladies out there—you ladies know that the right man will make you smile all over yourself, light up your faces like sunshine, put some natural blushing on your