Circus of the Damned - Laurell K. Hamilton [126]
“Yes, I am.”
I kept shaking my head. “No.”
He came to stand beside the bed. He held the flowers awkwardly, as if he didn’t know what to do with them. “I’m next in line to be pack leader. I can pass for human, Anita. I’m good at it.”
“You lied to me.”
He shook his head. “I didn’t want to.”
“Then why did you?”
“Jean-Claude ordered me not to tell you.”
“Why?”
He shrugged. “I think because he knew you’d hate it. You don’t forgive deceit. He knows that.”
Would Jean-Claude deliberately try to ruin a potential relationship between Richard and me? Yep.
“You asked what hold Jean-Claude had on me. That was it. My pack leader loaned me to Jean-Claude on the condition that no one find out what I was.”
“Why are you a special case?”
“They won’t let lycanthropes teach kids, or anybody else for that matter.”
“You’re a werewolf.”
“Isn’t that better than being dead?”
I stared up at him. His eyes were still the same perfect brown. His hair fell forward around his face. I wanted to ask him to sit down, to let me run my fingers through his hair, to keep it from that wonderful face.
“Yeah, it’s better than being dead.”
He let out a breath, as if he’d been holding it. He smiled and held the flowers out to me.
I took them because I didn’t know what else to do. They were red carnations with enough baby’s breath to form a white mist over the red. The carnations smelled like sweet cloves. Richard was a werewolf. Next in line for pack leader. He could pass for human. I stared up at him. I held out my hand to him. He took it, and his hand was warm and solid, and alive.
“Now that we’ve established why you’re not dead, why aren’t I dead?”
“Edward did CPR on you until the ambulances came. The doctors don’t know what caused your heart to stop, but there’s no permanent damage.”
“What did you tell the police about all the bodies?”
“What bodies?”
“Come off it, Richard.”
“By the time the ambulance got there, there were no extra bodies.”
“The audience saw it all.”
“But what was real and what was illusion? The police got a hundred different versions from the audience. They’re suspicious, but they can’t prove anything. The Circus has been shut down until the authorities can be sure it’s safe.”
“Safe?” I laughed.
He shrugged. “As safe as it ever was.”
I slipped my hand out of Richard’s grasp, using both hands to smell the flowers again. “Is Jean-Claude . . . alive?”
“Yes.”
A great sense of relief washed over me. I didn’t want him dead. I didn’t want Jean-Claude dead. Shit. “He’s still Master of the City, then. And I’m still bound to him.”
“No,” Richard said, “Jean-Claude told me to tell you. You’re free. Alejandro’s marks sort of canceled his out. You can’t serve two masters, he said.”
Free? I was free? I stared at Richard. “It can’t be that easy.”
Richard laughed. “You call this easy?”
I looked up. I had to smile. “Alright, it wasn’t easy, but I didn’t think anything short of death would get Jean-Claude off my back.”
“Are you happy the marks are gone?”
I started to say, “Of course,” then stopped myself. There was something very serious in Richard’s face. He knew what it was to be offered power. To be one with the monsters. It could be horrible, and wonderful.
Finally I said “Yes.”
“Really?”
I nodded.
“You don’t seem too enthused,” he said.
“I know I should be jumping for joy, or something, but I just feel empty.”
“You’ve been through a lot the last few days. You’re entitled to be a little numb.”
Why wasn’t I happier to be rid of Jean-Claude? Why wasn’t I relieved to be no one’s human servant? Because I’d miss him? Stupid. Ridiculous. True.
When something gets too hard to think about, think about something else. “So now everyone knows you’re a werewolf.”
“No.”
“You were hospitalized, and you’ve already healed. I think they’ll guess.”
“Jean-Claude had me hidden away until I healed. This is my first day up and around.”
“How long have I been out?”
“A week.”
“You’re joking.”
“You were in a coma for three days. The doctors still don’t know what made you start breathing on