Circus of the Damned - Laurell K. Hamilton [61]
“How long have you been an animator?” I asked.
He glanced at the luminous dial of his watch. “About eight hours.”
I stared at him. “This is your first job, anywhere?”
He nodded. “Didn’t Mr. Vaughn tell you about me?”
“Bert just said he’d hired another animator named Lawrence Kirkland.”
“I’m in my senior year at Washington University, and this is my semester of job co-op.”
“How old are you?”
“Twenty; why?”
“You’re not even legal,” I said.
“So I can’t drink or go in porno theaters. No big loss, unless the job takes us to places like that.” He looked at me and leaned in. “Does the job take us to porno theaters?” His face was neutrally pleasant, and I couldn’t tell if he was teasing or not. I gambled that he was kidding.
“Twenty is fine.” I shook my head.
“You don’t look like twenty’s fine,” he said.
“It’s not your age that bothers me,” I said.
“But something bothers you.”
I wasn’t sure how to put it into words, but there was something pleasant and humorous in his face. It was a face that laughed more often than it cried. He looked bright and clean as a new penny, and I didn’t want that to change. I didn’t want to be the one who forced him to get down in the dirt and roll.
“Have you ever lost someone close to you? Family, I mean?”
The humor slipped away from his face. He looked like a solemn little boy. “You’re serious.”
“Deadly,” I said.
He shook his head. “I don’t understand.”
“Just answer the question. Have you ever lost someone close to you?”
He shook his head. “I’ve even got all my grandparents.”
“Have you ever seen violence up close and personal?”
“I got into fights in high school.”
“Why?”
He grinned. “They thought short meant weak.”
I had to smile. “And you showed them different.”
“Hell, no; they beat the crap out of me for four years.” He smiled.
“You ever win a fight?”
“Sometimes,” he said.
“But the winning’s not the important part,” I said.
He looked very steadily at me, eyes serious. “No, it’s not.”
There was a moment of nearly perfect understanding between us. A shared history of being the smallest kid in class. Years of being the last picked for sports. Being the automatic victim for bullies. Being short can make you mean. I was sure that we understood each other but, being female, I had to verbalize it. Men do a lot of this mind-reading shit, but sometimes you’re wrong. I needed to know.
“The important part is taking the beating and not giving up,” I said.
He nodded. “Takes a beating and keeps on ticking.”
Now that I’d spoiled our first moment of perfect understanding by making us both verbalize, I was happy. “Other than school fights, you’ve never seen violence?”
“I go to rock concerts.”
I shook my head. “Not the same.”
“You got a point to make?” he asked.
“You should never have tried to raise a third zombie.”
“I did it, didn’t I?” He sounded defensive, but I pressed on. When I have a point to make, I may not be graceful, but I’m relentless.
“You raised and lost control of it. If I hadn’t come along, the zombie would have broken free and hurt someone.”
“It’s just a zombie. They don’t attack people.”
I stared at him, trying to see if he was kidding. He wasn’t. Shit. “You really don’t know, do you?”
“Know what?”
I covered my face with my hands and counted to ten, slowly. It wasn’t Larry I was mad at, it was Bert, but Larry was so convenient for yelling. I’d have to wait until tomorrow to yell at Bert, but Larry was right here. How lucky.
“The zombie had broken free of your control, Larry. If I hadn’t come along and fed it blood, it would have found blood on its own. Do you understand?”
“I don’t think so.”
I sighed. “The zombie would have attacked someone. Taken a bite out of someone.