Citizen Hughes - Michael Drosnin [85]
“After the box is open you are to take the little tag and the first piece of kleenex and destroy them; then using two fingers of the left hand and two fingers of the right hand take each piece of kleenex out of the box and place it on an unopened newspaper and repeat this until approximately 50 sheets are neatly stacked. You then have a paddle for one hand. You are then to make another for the other hand, making a total of two paddles of kleenex to use in handling these three boxes.
“Mr. Hughes wanted you to remember to keep your head at a 45 degree angle from the various things you would touch, such as the kleenex box itself, the knife, the kleenex paddles.
“The thing to be careful of during the operation is not to breath upon the various items.”
And that was nothing to the precautions Hughes ordered in removing his hearing-aid cord from the bathroom cabinet:
“A. First use 6 or 8 thicknesses of Kleenex, pulled one at a time from the slot, in touching the doorknob to open the door to the bathroom.
“B. The same sheaf of Kleenex may be employed to turn on the spigots so as to obtain a good force of warm water. This Kleenex is then to be disposed of.
“C. A sheaf of 6 to 8 Kleenex is then to be used to open the cabinet containing the soap, and a fresh bar of soap that has never been opened is to be used. All Kleenex used up to this point is to be disposed of.
“D. The hands are to be washed with extreme care, far more thoroughly than they have ever been washed before, taking great pains that the hands do not touch the sides of the bowl, the spigots, or anything in the process. Great care should also be exercised when setting the soap down.
“E. A sheaf of 15 to 20 fresh Kleenex is then to be used to turn off the spigots and the Kleenex is then to be thrown away.”
The really delicate part of the mission was yet to begin, removal of the hearing-aid cord, Step 2:
“A. The door to the cabinet is to be opened using a minimum of 15 Kleenexes. (Great care is to be exercised in opening and closing the doors. They are not to be slammed or swung hastily so as to raise any dust, and yet exceeding care is to be exercised against letting insects in.)
“B. Nothing inside the cabinet is to be touched—the inside of the doors, the top of the cabinet, the sides—no other objects inside the cabinet are to be touched in any way with the exception of the envelope to be removed.”
The hearing-aid cord was carefully sealed inside an envelope, but not even the envelope could be touched:
“C. The envelope is to be removed using a minimum of 15 Kleenexes. If it is necessary to use both hands, then 15 Kleenexes are to be used for each hand. (It is to be understood that these 15 Kleenexes are to be sterile on both sides of each tissue with the exception of the very outermost edge of the tissue. The center of the tissue only should come into contact with the object being picked up.) If something is on top of the package to be removed, a sterile instrument is to be used to lift it off.”
Hughes himself, of course, could never be touched. Not by naked or even gloved and scrubbed hands. On those rare occasions when contact was necessary, as with a wake-up ritual he devised, full insulation was required:
“Call Roy and have him come up to the house and awaken HRH at 10:15 AM sharp if HRH is not awake by that time. With 8 thicknesses of Kleenex he is to pinch HRH’s toes until he awakens, increasing the pressure each time.”
His Mormons, themselves reduced to sterile instruments, obediently followed every mad detail of their master’s hygienic rituals, never questioning their missions even as they waded through the filth and debris of his bedroom, picking their way through the piles of newspapers and dirty Kleenex, treading carefully so as not to stir up the dust.
In terror of germs, Hughes lived in filth. Nothing that came from his own pure being, nothing in his own nimbus was “contamination.” Indeed, he was fully as desperate to keep everything