City of Ruin - Mark Charan Newton [71]
‘Not really, no.’
‘Well, I do, OK. It’s my life that could be ruined.’
‘I could be your life, Bea. Me alone. Once I’m finished here in the city, I’ll quit the army.’
‘You’re already married to it. With me you’re cheating on your marriage too.’
‘I’ll quit, just after—’
‘The war, I know,’ she interrupted. ‘After the war in which nearly everyone in this city might die. Do you think I want to give up everything just for the promise of a man who might be killed at any moment? Can you even begin to understand the consequences of that?’
‘Why say all this now? We’ve talked about this before.’ Lupus placed a hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off.
Why did you join the army in the first place? she wanted to say. Why do you still have to be a soldier, the second time you invade my life?
Footsteps approaching outside. Her heart missed a beat as she shoved him away, whispering, ‘Malum.’ Lupus nodded his comprehension, moving further from her.
The door opened and in stepped her husband, a hessian sack in one hand, his gaze settling on them from within the darkness of his raised hood.
Beami felt as if her whole life was about to implode.
Lupus saluted him. ‘Sele of Jamur, sir.’
Malum stood there in his mask – something she once regarded with awe, but now found ridiculous. Still in the doorway, he was assessing the situation he had walked into.
‘What’re you doing here, soldier?’ Malum growled.
Lupus’s voice maintained a perfect calm. ‘I’m visiting as many of the establishments around the Ancient Quarter as possible, briefing them on the potential hazards that may soon arise. There may be a possibility for rehousing, should you consider it safer.’
‘The hell we will,’ he grunted; then to Beami, ‘This man hassling you?’
‘It’s no trouble. I understand what a soldier must do – for the good of the city.’
‘Whatever.’
Lupus then addressed Malum again. ‘Do I recognize you, sir?’
‘I doubt it.’
‘Sir, madam, good day.’ Lupus nodded to them both. He left Beami alone with her husband.
She tried to remain looking utterly calm.
‘Fucking soldiers.’ Malum closed the door. ‘Think just because this city’s under threat they can get away with anything.’
‘Do you think we’ve anything to be worried about?’ Beami tried to meet his gaze, as if showing she had nothing to hide.
He pushed back his hood, placed the sack on the floor. ‘Nothing at all. You’re safe here with me, right?’
‘Right. What’s in the sack?’
‘Thought we deserved a decent meal tonight . . .’
‘That’s very kind.’ It pained her even more to see how he was making an effort to be nice to her. Seeing him like this it . . . just made her want to at least try. Was she mad for risking herself in this situation? Surely she should take some control of her emotions.
She was a cultist, after all! She was meant to be this powerful woman who could utilize ancient technology, and here she was being so . . . pathetic. This was not her. This was not who she was.
*
Malum and Beami ate their food between stifled conversation. At least this was better than another row – something they had recently become expert in. They began arguments that referred to older arguments. There was immediate context in the delivered insults, which inferred moments from the past. There were words used that brought to mind rooms and events, distant images from their increasingly broken relationship.
Tonight he was trying so hard to put aside his machismo, his posturing, his elaborate and competitive boasting. For once his mask was in some other room. In moments like this she could see her husband as she remembered him when they had first met: him articulate and genuine, but from herself: brief responses, mixed with pangs of dread. Eventually his gaze travelled across her body, as if she was some prize he couldn’t win.
In a pause during the meal, she noticed him sip from a vial when he thought she wasn’t looking. Some concoction brewed by that witch?
Matters moved on to the semi-darkness of the bedroom, where he began his ritualistic attempt at making love – while guilt ravaged her – his body silhouetted