Clapton_ The Autobiography - Eric Clapton [121]
In the early summer of 1991, I took a trip to New York to look at a film being made by Lili Zanuck, wife of the American movie producer Richard Zanuck. Called Rush, it is based on a true story about a female undercover narcotics agent who becomes an addict herself. Lili was a big fan and wanted me to do the score for the film. I had never taken on an entire project like this before, most of the film work I had done up until then having been supervised by the American arranger and composer Michael Kamen. We had got together to do music for an English thriller TV series called Edge of Darkness, and then the Lethal Weapon films that had followed from that. In all honesty, from what I had seen thus far, I had no great passion for the movie industry. I love film and am a real movie buff, but being behind the scenes left me cold.
Nevertheless, I took the job, mainly because I liked Lili. She was outrageously funny, and I loved and identified with her views, be it on movies, music, or just life. At the end of the summer I took up residence in LA and started working on the film. Lili assigned a guy named Randy Kirber to be my assistant, and he was fantastic. He showed me the ropes and created beautiful musical pastiches for me to compose over. We were a great team, and I hope one day we can do it again. I remember at some point playing “Tears in Heaven” to Lili, and her insistence that we put it in the movie. I was very reluctant. After all, I was still unsure about whether or not it should ever be made public, but her argument was that it might in some way help somebody, and that got my vote.
The song was released as a single and was a massive hit, my only self-penned number one as far as I can remember. The film didn’t do so well, although it deserved to. It was a controversial subject, and some scenes were quite harrowing to watch, but I thought it was sensitive and true to its purpose. It’s since become something of a cult hit, and I’m extremely proud of the music. I finished up the year by touring Japan with George Harrison. He and Olivia had been really kind to me over the last few months, and I wanted to express my gratitude.
During the trip, Lori showed up out of the blue and just checked into our hotel. Her boyfriend Sylvio had faxed me, warning me that she was coming to see me. They had broken up, and he was worried about her sanity. I couldn’t handle it. I was barely holding myself together emotionally, and there was work to do. Curiously enough, George stepped in and took control. They traveled around together, and he seemed to have a calming influence on her. I felt very guilty about not being able to comfort her, but I was experiencing tremendous feelings of anger and sadness, with no real idea of how to cope with that and her at the same time.
By Christmas I had moved to London and was enjoying being back in Chelsea after a twenty-year absence. The neighborhood at the World’s End hadn’t really changed much at all, although Kings Road east of the town hall was almost unrecognizable. In the sixties there had been literally only three, maybe four, boutiques in the whole of Chelsea, and now the Sloane Square end was wall-to-wall clothing shops, mostly rubbish. But I loved being back and pictured a new era of bachelorhood dawning. I still thought that diversion might be the solution for my grief and that dating would take my mind off the loss of my son, as if it really worked like that.
Part of the reason for moving into London was to stop myself from isolating, and to try and develop new friendships. Although London is a notoriously lonely town, I found within a few months that I had met and become friends with quite a few new people. My oldest friendships to this date, apart from my school friends, come from these days in Chelsea: Jack English, who is a great photographer; Chip Somers, who now runs a successful rehab counseling service called Focus 12; Paul Wassif, a great guitar player and counselor; Emma Turner,