Clapton_ The Autobiography - Eric Clapton [67]
I think one of the reasons we got on so well was our shared love of music. He told me that during his time in London as a young man, and later in Washington, he had got to know and befriend a number of well-known jazz musicians, and we used to talk a lot about them. He also seemed to like what I was doing musically, and because of that, and because I respected him, it served to heighten my sense of shame about what was going on with me and Alice. But we were prisoners by then and could not break the spell. It really was time for someone like him to step in.
The plan was for me to join a band put together by Pete to play at a concert at the Rainbow Theatre in London as part of “Fanfare for Europe,” celebrating Britain’s entry into the Common Market. David saw a return to the public arena as a way of giving me the incentive to break my habit. Though this was something that I would never have managed to do on my own, because it was Pete, I went along with it, and I had a good time doing it. All the time I had shut myself away I had been listening to music and playing the guitar, but to fully develop your craft you need to interact with other people, and since the concert for Bangladesh, I hadn’t actually played with any other musicians.
When we got into rehearsals, over at Ronnie Wood’s house, I made a real attempt to practice, play, and compose, if on a limited level. Thank God that Steve was there to give me confidence, since it must have been quite clear to the others that there was something seriously lacking in my playing. Fortunately, I knew in my head what I wanted to do as well as what was required of me. It was just the problem of communicating that energy to my fingers.
On the night of the show, January 13, 1973, Alice and I, stoned out of our heads, turned up late to find Pete and Stigwood tearing their hair out. The reason for our lateness was that Alice had to let out the waist of the trousers of my white suit because I had taken to eating so much chocolate of late, I couldn’t get them on anymore. Ahmet was in the audience, along with George and Ringo, Jimmy Page, Elton John, and Joe Cocker, among others, while onstage the band, which we called the Palpitations, included Pete, Steve, Jim Karstine, Jim Capaldi, and Rick Grech.
We opened with “Layla,” and included songs like “Badge,” “Bottle of Red Wine,” “Bell Bottom Blues,” and “In the Presence of the Lord,” and having such a great band pushed me to the limits of my playing in the state I was in. Though it wasn’t bad, listening to the tapes later made me realize that I was still miles off course. It sounded just like the charity benefit that it really was. I had a great time doing it, however, and the incredible welcome I was given by the audience was very moving. After the Rainbow concert, I went back into hiding, and even though I understood that Pete cared for me and wanted to help by getting me back into the music scene, I just wasn’t ready.
In the time that immediately followed I sank to new lows, with Alice following close behind. I was soon taking vast quantities of heroin every day, and my cravings became so powerful that Alice was giving me virtually everything she was able to score, and compensating for the heroin she was missing by drinking large quantities of neat vodka, up to two bottles a day. She too had now become a recluse, unwilling to connect with anyone who might obstruct us. The doors remained closed, the post went unopened, and we existed on a diet of chocolate and junk food, so I soon became not only overweight, but spotty and generally unfit. Heroin also completely took away my libido, so we had no sexual activity of any kind, and I became chronically constipated.
The cost of our lifestyle was not just high in human terms, it was beginning to cripple me financially. Each week I was spending about £1,000 on heroin, the equivalent of £8,000 today. For a period of time I managed to hide from Stigwood the true amount, but eventually he cottoned on to what was