Color Purple, The - Alice Walker [19]
She ast me, Tell me the truth, she say, do you mind if Albert sleep with me?
I think, I don't care who Albert sleep with. But I don't say that.
I say, You might git big again.
She say, Naw, not with my sponge and all.
You still love him, I ast.
She say, I got what you call a passion for him. If I was ever going to have a husband he'd a been it. But he weak, she say. Can't make up his mind what he want.
And from what you tell me he a bully. Some things I love about him though, she say. He smell right to me. He so little. He make me laugh.
You like to sleep with him? I ast.
Yeah, Celie she say, I have to confess, I just loveit. Don't you?
Naw, I say. Mr.??? can tell'you, I don't like it at all. What is it like? He git up on you, heist your nightgown round your waist, plunge in. Most times I pretend I ain't there. He never know the difference. Never ast me how I feel, nothing. Just do his business, get off, go to sleep.
She start to laugh. Do his business, she say. Do his business. Why, Miss Celie. You make it sound like he going to the toilet on you.
That what it feel like, I say.
She stop laughing.
You never enjoy it at all? she ast, puzzle. Not even with your children daddy?
Never, I say.
Why Miss Celie, she say, you still a virgin.
What? I ast..
Listen, she say, right down there in your pussy is a little button that gits real hot when you do you know what with somebody.
It git boner and hotter and then it melt. That the good part. But other parts good too, she say. Lot of sucking go on, here and there, she say. Lot of finger and tongue work.
Button? Finger and tongue? My face hot enough to melt itself.
She say. Here, take this mirror and go look at yourself down there, I bet you never seen it, have you?
Naw.
And I bet you never seen Albert down there either .81 I felt him, I say.
I stand there with the mirror.
She say, What, too shame even to go off and look at yourself? And you look so cute too, she say, laughing. All dressed up for Harpo's, smelling good and everything, but scared to look at your own pussy.
You come with me while I look, I say.
And us run off to my room like two little prankish girls.
You guard the door, I say.
She giggle. Okay, she say. Nobody coming. Coast clear.
I lie back on the bed and haul up my dress. Yank down my bloomers. Stick the looking glass tween my legs. Ugh. All that hair. Then my pussy lips be black. Then inside look like a wet rose.
It a lot prettier than you thought, ain't it? she say from the door.
It mine, I say. Where the button?
Right up near the top, she say. The part that stick out a little.
I look at her and touch it with my finger. A little shiver go through me. Nothing much. But just enough to tell me this the right button to mash. Maybe.
She say, While you looking, look at your titties too. I haul up my dress and look at my titties. Think bout my babies sucking them.
Remember the little shiver I felt then too. Sometimes a big shiver. Best part about having the babies was feeding 'em.
Albert and Harpo coming, she say. And I yank up my drawers and yank down my dress. I feel like us been doing something wrong.
I don't care if you sleep with him, I say.
And she take me at my word.
I take me at my word too.
But when I hear them together all I can do is pull the quilt over my head and finger my little button and titties and cry.
One night while Shug singing a hot one, who should come prancing through the door of Harpo's but Sofia.
She with a big tall hefty man look like a prize fighter.
She her usual stout and bouncy self.
Oh, Miss Celie, she cry. It so good to see you again. It even good to see Mr.?:??, she say. She take one of his hands. Even if his handshake is a little weak, she say.
He act real glad to see her.
Here, pull up a chair, he say. Have a cold drink.
Gimme a shot of white lightening, she say.
Prizefighter pull up a chair, straddle it backwards, hug on Sofia like they at home.
I see Harpo cross the room with his little yellowskin girlfriend. He look at Sofia like she a hant.