Color Purple, The - Alice Walker [29]
Nettie
One night in bed Shug ast me to tell her bout Nettie. What she like? Where she at?
I tell her how Mr.??? try to turn her head. How Nettie refuse him, and how he say Nettie have to go.
Where she go? she ast.
I don't know, I say. She leave here.
And no word from her yet? she ast.
Naw, I say. Every day when Mr.??? come from the mailbox I hope for news. But nothing come. She dead, I say.
Shug say, She wouldn't be someplace with funny stamps, you don't reckon? She look like she studying. Say, Sometimes when Albert and me walk up to the mailbox there be a letter with a lot of funny looking stamps. He never say nothing bout it, just put it in his inside pocket. One time I ast him could I look at the stamps but he said he'd take it out later. But he never did.
She was just on her way to town, I say. Stamps look like stamps round here. White men with long hah*.
Hm, she say, look like a little fat white woman was on one. What your sister Nettie like? she ast. Smart?
Yes, Lord, I say. Smart as anything. 'Read the newspapers when she was little more than talking. Did figures like they was nothing.
Talked real well too. And sweet. There never was a sweeter girl, I say. Eyes just brimming over with it. She love me too, I say to Shug.
She tall or short? Shug ast. What kind of dress she like to wear? What her birthday? What her favorite color? Can she cook? Sew?
What about hah-?
Everything bout Nettie she want to know.
I talk so much my voice start to go. Why you want to know so much bout Nettie? I ast.
Cause she the only one you ever love, she say, sides me.
All of a sudden Shug buddy-buddy again with Mr.???. They sit on the steps, go down Harpo's. Walk to the mailbox.
Shug laugh and laugh when he got anything to say. Show teef and tits aplenty.
Me and Grady try to carry on like us civilize. But it hard. When I hear Shug laugh I want to choke her, slap Mr.??? face.
All this week I suffer. Grady and me feel so down he turn to reefer, I turn to prayer.
Saturday morning Shug put Nettie letter in my lap. Little fat queen of England stamps on it, plus stamps that got peanuts, coconuts, rubber trees and say Africa. I don't know where England at. Don't know where Africa at either. So I still don't know where Nettie at.
He been keeping your letters, say Shug.
Naw, I say. Mr. ___ mean sometimes, but he not that. mean.
She say, Humpf, he that mean.
But how come he do it? I ast. He know Nettie mean everything in the world to me.
Shug say she don't know, but us gon find out.
Us seal the letter up again and put it back in Mr.??? pocket.
He walk round with it in his coat all day. He never mention it. Just talk and laugh with Grady, Harpo and Swain, and try to learn how to drive Shug car.
I watch him so close, I begin to feel a lightening hi the head. Fore I know anything I'm standing hind his chair with his razor open.
Then I hear Shug laugh, like something just too funny. She say to me, I know I told you I need something to cut this hangnail with, but Albert git real niggerish bout his razor.
Mr.??_ look behind him. Put that down, he say. Women always needing to cut this and shave that, and always gumming up the razor.
Shug got her hand on the razor now. She say. Oh it look dull. anyway. She take and sling it back in the shaving box.
All day long I act just like Sofia. I stutter. I mutter to myself. I stumble bout the house crazy for Mr. -?? blood. In my mind, he falling dead every which a way. By time night come, I can't speak. Every time I open my mouth nothing come out but a little burp.
Shug tell everybody I got a fever and she put me to bed. It probably catching, she say to Mr.???. Maybe you better sleep somewhere else. But she stay with me all night long. I don't sleep. I don't cry. I don't do nothing. I'm cold too. Pretty soon I think maybe I'm dead: Shug hold me close to her and sometimes talk.
One thing my mama hated me for was how much I love to fuck, she say. She never love to do nothing had anything to do with touching nobody, she say. I try to kiss her, she turn her mouth away. Say,