Color Purple, The - Alice Walker [50]
But, Celie, in the middle of the night she woke up, turned to Samuel and said: I believe. And died anyway.
Your Sister in Sorrow,
Nettie
Just when I think I've learned to live with the heat, the constant dampness, even steaminess of my clothes, the swampiness under my arms and between my legs, my Mend comes. And cramps and aches and pains? but I must still keep going as if nothing is happening, or be an embarrassment to Samuel, the children and myself. Not to mention the villagers, who think women who have their friends should. not even be seen.
Right after her mother's death, Olivia got herfriend; she and lashi tend to each other is my guess. Nothing is said to me, in any event, and I don't know how to bring the subject up. Which feels wrong to me; but if you talk to an Olinka girl about her private parts, her mother and father will be annoyed, and it is very important to Olivia not to be looked upon as an outsider. Although the one ritual they do have to celebrate womanhood is so bloody and painful, I forbid Olivia to even think about it.
Do you remember how scared I was when it first happened to me? I thought I had cut myself. But thank God you were there to tell me I was all right.
We buried Corrine in the Olinka way, wrapped in barkcloth under a large tree. All of her sweet ways went with her. All of her education and a heart intent on doing good. She taught me so much! I know I will miss her always. The children were stunned by their mother's death. They knew she was very sick, but death is not something they think about hi relation to their parents or themselves. It was a strange little procession. All of us hi our white robes and with our faces painted white. Samuel is like someone lost. I don't believe they've spent a night apart since their marriage.
And how are you? dear Sister. The years have come and gone without a single word from you. Only the sky above us do we hold hi common. I look at it often as if, somehow, reflected from its immensities, I will one day find myself gazing into your eyes. Your dear, large, clean and beautiful eyes. Oh, Celie! My life here is nothing but work, work, work, and worry. What girlhood I might have had passed me by. And I have nothing of my own. No man, no children, no close friend, except for Samuel. But I dohave children, Adam and Olivia. And I dohave friends, Tashi and Catherine. I even have a family? this village, which has fallen on such hard times.
Now the engineers have come to inspect the territory. Two white men came yesterday and spent a couple of hours strolling about the village, mainly looking at the wells. Such is the innate politeness of the Olinka that they rushed about preparing food for them, though precious little is left, since many of the gardens that flourish at this time of the year have been destroyed. And the white men sat eating as if the food was beneath notice.
It is understood by the Olinka that nothing good is 1% likely to come fromthe same persons who destroyed their houses, but custom dies hard. I did not speak to the men myself, but Samuel did. He said their talk was all of workers, kilometers of land, rainfall, seedlings, machinery, and whatnot. One seemed totally indifferent to the people around him? simply eating and then smoking and staring off into the distance? and the other, somewhat younger, appeared to be enthusiastic about learning the language. Before, he says, it dies out.
I did not enjoy watching Samuel speaking to either of them. The one who hung on every word, or the one who looked through Samuel's head.
Samuel gave me all of Corrine's clothes, and I need them, though none of our clothing is suitable hi this climate. This is true even of the clothing the Africans wear. They used to wear very little, but the ladies of England introduced the Mother Hubbard, a long, cumbersome, ill-fitting dress, completely shapeless, that inevitably gets dragged in the fire, causing burns aplenty.
I have never been able to bring myself to wear one of these dresses, which all seem to have been made with giants in mind, so I