Come Lie With Me - Linda Howard [75]
“I’ll know the difference, and so will you.”
He sighed impatiently. “You still won’t listen to reason, will you? Then let’s compromise. Are you willing to compromise?”
She eyed him warily. “It depends.”
He smiled even as he shook his head. “You’d think I’m a mass murderer, the way you’re looking at me. It’s just a simple deal. You say that when I get out more and see other women to compare you to, I’ll realize that I’ve just been infatuated with you. On the other hand, I say that I love you and I’ll keep on loving you, regardless of how many other women I see. To settle the issue, all you have to do is stay until I’ve had a chance to make that comparison. Simple?”
She shrugged. “I see what’s in the deal for you; you win, either way. I know that you’re planning to sleep with me, and I’m honest enough to know that if I stay, that’s exactly how things will work out. If you decide that it was just a passing fancy after all, then you’ve lost nothing and had a bed partner while you thought about it.”
“There’s something in it for you, too,” he said, grinning.
The wicked gleam in his eyes gave him away. She could have kicked him, but it seemed that he could always make her laugh no matter how upset she was. “I know, I know,” she said, beginning to giggle. “I get to sleep with you.”
“That’s not such a bad deal,” he said with blatant immodesty.
“You talk a good game, Mr. Remington,” she said, still laughing despite all she could do to stifle it.
“That’s not all I do well,” he said, reaching for her and folding her against him. His lips found the slope of her throat and she shivered, her lashes falling to veil her eyes. “Think of it as therapy,” he encouraged. “A sort of repayment for your own therapeutic knowledge. You gave me a reason to live, and I’ll show you how to live.”
“Egotistical.”
“Truthful.”
“I can’t do it.”
He shook her, then pulled her back to him and began to lay tender seige to her mouth, storming the barrier of her teeth and taking the treasure that lay beyond. “You will do it,” he insisted softly. “Because you love me. Because I need you.”
“Past tense: You needed me. That’s in the past. You’re on your own, and you’re doing fine.”
“I won’t be doing fine if you leave me. I swear I’ll put myself back in the wheelchair and not get out again. I won’t go to work; I won’t eat; I won’t sleep. I need you to take care of me.”
“Blackmail won’t work,” she warned him, trying not to laugh again.
“Then I’ll have to try another tactic. Please. Stay for me. I love you, and you love me. What if you’re wrong? What if I’m still as wild for you ten years from now as I am today? Are you going to throw that chance away just because you’re afraid to believe it can happen?”
The pain that seared her heart told her that at last he’d hit on the real reason why she wanted to leave. She was afraid to believe in love, because no one had ever loved her. She stared at him intently, aware inside of herself that she had reached a personal milestone. She could play it safe and run but people who played it safe never knew the intoxication of going for it all, of putting their hearts on the line. They never risked anything, so they never won anything. Everything had to be paid for; she reminded herself of that once again. All she could do was try. If she won, if by some miracle she gained the golden apple, her life would be complete. If she lost, would she really be any worse off than she was now? She already loved him. Would leaving him now make the pain any less than leaving him later?
“All right,” she said huskily, aware of the bridges burning behind her. She could feel the heat at her back. “I’ll stay with you. Don’t ask me to marry you, not yet. Let’s see how it works out. An affair is a lot easier to recover from when it goes sour than a marriage is.”
He quirked a dark eyebrow at her. “You’re not overconfident, are you?”
“I’m…cautious,” she admitted. “Marriage was traumatic for me. Let me take one hurdle at a time. If…if everything works out,