Company - Max Barry [79]
He snapped out of this fantasy to realize he was being assigned a new job: to restore the company network. He said, “Really? It seems people are actually happier without the network. They're moving around, talking . . . my feeling is this may actually be good for the company.”
“Of course the staff like it,” Blake said scornfully. “It means they can't do as much work. No doubt the staff think it's terrific. We're not here to entertain them, though, Jones.”
“I'm not suggesting otherwise,” Jones said, in the cool, measured tones of a man resisting the urge to clock Blake with his coffee mug. “I'm just wondering if this might not increase productivity. Have you heard of work-life balance? It's the crazy idea that employees work better when they're happy and motivated.”
Blake leaned back and folded his arms, regarding Jones as if he had just heard something very stupid. From the head of the table, Klausman said, “Ah, Jones, we're not big fans of that whole work-life balance thing. It's not that it's not a great concept. It is. In theory.”
“Like communism,” Blake said, eliciting chuckles. There will be no drunken reminiscences, Jones decided.
“The problem is it's a myth. We've run the numbers; it doesn't check out. The amount you gain from reduced absenteeism and error rates is swamped by what you lose to reduced working hours and off-task behavior. Simply put, happy employees aren't more productive. They're less.”
“In most situations,” Mona interjected. “Remember?”
Klausman nodded. “Ah, yes. When it's expensive to replace an employee, it can be worth spending money to keep them happy. But that's the exception.”
“So what you're saying,” Jones said, “is there's no point spending money on employee welfare unless they're in Senior Management.”
Blake said, “By Jove, he's got it.”
“What I'm saying,” Klausman said, “is that when it comes to work-life balance, we're fighting for the work side of that equation. Capisce?”
“Yes,” Jones said.
“Good boy. This is one of those occasions where I don't want to wait for Zephyr to fix itself. Most of Senior Management doesn't even have a computer; it'll be months before they figure out something's wrong. No, the company needs a network, Jones, and you are going to give it one.”
Jones opened his mouth to say, How?, but that wasn't very dynamic or Alpha-like. So instead he said, “All right,” and everyone looked happier.
The third unsettling thing happened as the meeting was wrapping up. Blake announced, “And keep an eye on Staff Services. The new manager there, Roger Jefferson, has a lot of fresh new ideas.” This was apropos of something, but Jones had been packing up his briefcase and thinking about the network, so he missed what, exactly. But when he looked up, Blake was watching him with a small, patronizing smile, and Jones realized that for reasons he wasn't yet aware of, today was going to suck.
He finds out why when he reaches the cubicle. Freddy and Elizabeth are in an animated discussion, sitting with their knees almost touching in the cramped quarters. Freddy is shaking his head emphatically. “No, no, no. Jones! Come here, I need your support.”
“Freddy, I understand what you're saying,” Elizabeth says. “It's just there's nothing we can do about it. There are no other options.”
“What's going on?”
Freddy waves a printed memo. “Look at this! Roger calls it an ‘Accountability Program.' From now on, we have to pay for everything. Our desks, our computers—he's billing us for them. He's made us personally responsible for departmental