Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen - Dyan Sheldon [22]
Alma, Tina and Marcia all collapsed in hysterics.
I could have turned around and said something. You know, something subtle but apt. Like, “Well then, it is amazing that you didn’t get the part, isn’t it?” But I didn’t. To answer would be to play right into Carla’s game. To ignore her and act as though I hadn’t heard what she said would drive her nuts.
I raised my juice container over the table. “Let’s toast,” I said loudly to Ella. “After all, this is really a celebratory lunch, isn’t it?”
Ella’s expression was about as celebratory as a death mask, but she nodded and held up her stainless-steel thermos.
“To Pygmalion!” I cried gaily.
“To Pygmalion,” muttered Ella. And immediately afterwards and much louder she said, “So, what do you think of all the rumours?”
Despite the shocking initial disinterest of everyone at Deadwood High School in the death of a legend, there were now more rumours about Sidartha going around than Carla Santini had teeth.
The reason the band split up was because Bryan Jeffries, the drummer, was a drug addict.
No, it was because Jon Waldaski, the bass player, was dying of AIDS.
Because Steve Maya, the lead guitarist, was an alcoholic.
Because Stu Wolff was an alcoholic and/or a drug addict.
Because Stu Wolff wanted to change his image.
Because Stu and Steve did nothing but fight because Stu stole Steve’s girlfriend.
Because Stu and Steve did nothing but fight because Stu wouldn’t let Steve play his songs in the band.
Because Bryan attacked Jon with a snare drum.
Because Stu broke Bryan’s jaw.
Because Jon was suing the others for not giving him credit for songs that were his.
Blahblahblah…
“I can’t believe Bryan’s into drugs,” I said. “Stu wouldn’t tolerate it. He has too much integrity.” It went without saying that despite the historical connection between genius and mind-altering substances, we had dismissed the accusations of drug addiction against Stu automatically. Not only did he have integrity, he was passionate about his music. There was no way he would risk it for some superficial thrill.
Ella started arranging the plastic containers in an orderly line. She’s not related to Marilyn Gerard for nothing.
“Maybe he didn’t know at first,” said Ella. “Maybe he only just found out.”
I opened my beat-up Zorro lunch box. I bought it in a junk store on the Lower East Side. I’ve always loved Zorro. I guess it’s the cape.
“He’s too smart.” I took out the chunk of cheese and the apple I’d packed before I raced from the house. “He’d have noticed right away.”
“Well, maybe they have creative differences,” said Ella, opening each container in turn.
I wiped the clay from my apple. Everything in our house is covered with clay. It’s what you call an occupational hazard. “I think it’s much more likely to be personality clashes. From what I’ve read, Steve can be really selfish and bossy.”
It was at that point that Carla Santini more or less joined our conversation.
“Did I tell you?” she shouted. “My father just called me on my mobile to tell me what he found out about Sidartha.”
Carla’s father is a phenomenally successful media lawyer who knows everybody who’s been famous for even fifteen seconds. He dines with movie stars. He gets drunk with famous musicians. He plays golf with producers, directors and television personalities. When she was six, Marlon Brando took Carla Santini on his knee and kissed the top of her head. She has a photo to prove it.
“You’re kidding!” shrieked Alma. “You mean your dad talked to Stu?” She sounded as if she were reading her lines from a cue card.
The air itself quivered with the shaking of Carla’s head.
“Stu told my father that he’s really angry about all the rumours that have been circulating about them,” blared Carla. “He hates the way the press always misrepresents things.”
The disciples all murmured sympathetically – as though they cared what the press did.
“So guess what they’re going to do?” squealed Carla, loudly enough to get a response from the house across