Courting Death - Carol Stephenson [53]
“What about the fact someone’s trying to frighten me, to keep me from doing my job?”
He sighed and pressed his forehead against mine. “Honey, I think about it every damn minute of every damn day.” Frustration shimmered in his tone.
I tugged and he released my wrist. I touched the side of his face. “I need to learn the truth, Sam. You can’t stop me. Tonight a monster walked up to my house with two defenseless women inside. I’m going to find out who’s behind this. It’s my fault that this creep has brought Mom into this mess, and I’m going to get her out.”
He stared at me with incredulity. “You can’t believe you’re responsible for what happened tonight.”
“Who else could be?”
“Oh, let me think here. The slime ball who did it? People are responsible for their own actions, honey. In my world they get up in the morning, pull on their pants and decide to carry a gun. Or buy a knife. Or make any other number of decisions that lead them to commit a crime.”
My lips twitched. “If only it were so simple.”
“It’s your job to create all the excuses absolving people. Mine? Get the criminals off the streets and when the justice system dumps them back on, get them off again.”
Legal absolution of sins? Is that what I was doing? Wrapped in the concept of absolution was forgiveness. I rarely forgave myself, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to forgive whoever was behind the package. I lowered my hand and glanced out the window. Nearly everyone was gone.
“Are you done with the porch now? Is the scene of the crime officially released?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“I need to get a bucket of water and bleach to clean off the spot before I allow Mom to come home.”
“I’ll help.” Sam stood and offered me a hand, which I declined. Somehow, even the act of standing on my own two feet without assistance was a small step in regaining control of my life.
He dropped his hand. “Do you want me to stay here tonight?”
Panic skittered through me. The vulnerability that had been threatening to overwhelm me since I found the package screamed for me to say yes. However, to concede to that weakness and ask Sam to stay would signify a new step for me in our relationship. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for unexplored territory, to accept that I needed him to make me feel safe again. So I opted for what I did best: push him away.
“Sorry, but I’m not in the mood tonight.”
Anger flashed in his dark eyes. “Damn it, Nicole. You mean more to me than sex, and you know it. This is what happened last year. When we start getting close, you threw the Archer screw-up in my face. I’m not going to walk out on you like your father did on you and your mother.”
Was I doing that? Holding up other men to Nick Sterling? “Sam…”
He spun and stalked toward the door. “If you ever decide you need me, give me a call. In the meantime, I’ve got a few crimes to solve.”
The door swung open followed by a burst of excited voices. Carling and Jared, Kate and Gabe, and finally Melissa poured into the foyer.
“Why didn’t you call us?” Carling was first up to bat. “Melissa had to let us know what happened.”
Sam gave the group a brusque nod. “Don’t you know? Nicole can shoulder the whole world’s responsibilities with no problem.” He brushed by them and left.
The other two men glanced at each other and followed him, leaving the three women to descend on me as a unit. Strange how Melissa was fast becoming part of our lives, I realized.
I gestured. “I was going to clean the front stoop.”
“Sit.” Kate wrapped her arm around my shoulder and with slight pressure drew me down next to her on the sofa.
“What happened with Sam?”
I shrugged. “He offered to stay the night.”
Carling flopped in the wing chair. “Sounds like a good idea to me, but I take it you didn’t?”
“I hope you didn’t hurt his feelings because of me.” Melissa perched on the edge of the other chair. “I’m twenty-one.”
My mouth curved briefly. “No, hon, I didn’t turn him down because of your being here.”
“Then why the heck not let him stay?