Courting Her Highness_ The Story of Queen Anne - Jean Plaidy [39]
“No, Madam, no one could blame him.”
“So now that he will not come there can be no doubt of my accession. And perhaps soon, for I declare William looks most grievously ill.… His asthma is quite terrifying, Hill … or it would be if one were fond of him, which it is quite … quite impossible to be. You understand that?”
“Oh yes, Madam.”
“And then he has haemorrhoids … a most distressing complaint, Hill, which makes riding so painful for him, although it would be good for his asthma. He spits blood and I have never heard anyone lived long with that, have you, Hill?”
“Never, Madam.”
“Yet he has been doing it for years and still he goes on. Then he has this swelling in the legs. Dropsy, I should think. And Dr. Radcliffe was dismissed for being a little too frank about that. Yet he goes on. But one thing I know, Hill: he will not go on for ever and when he does die, Hill, and that boy is not here … but a Catholic in France … it will be my turn. Your mistress will be Queen of England. I often think about it and I am sometimes afraid that I shall not be a good Queen because I am not very clever, I fear, Hill. I wish that I were. I wanted children very much. I believe I was meant to be a mother. I cannot tell you, Hill, even though I know you understand me as few do … but even you cannot know what the loss of my boy meant to me. I should have been happy if all my children had lived. What a large family I should have, Hill, and the Prince says there is no reason why we should not have many more. A big family … yet. You see, he would be such a good father to them. The Prince is a kind, indulgent man, Hill. Never allow anyone to tell you otherwise. But sometimes I think that if God is to continue denying me children of my body He has a reason and it came to me last night, Hill, that I shall be the Mother of my people. When I see the crowds and they cheer me, I think they love me … more than they love William—but then of course they do not love him at all. I think they love me more than they loved my father. They see me as the Mother. Hill, if I am ever Queen of England I want to be a good Queen.”
“Your Highness will be a great Queen.”
“But I am a little ignorant, I fear. I never did my lessons as well as my sister Mary did. I would always make excuses. My eyes, you know, always troubled me and I would use that as an excuse not to study. I fear we were over-indulged as children. Perhaps we should have been forced to learn. Perhaps it is not too late.”
“It is never too late, they say, Madam.”
“You are right, Hill. I shall start preparing myself now. I shall study history because that is a subject above all others that a ruler should be conversant with. Tomorrow, Hill, you will bring me history books and I shall commence my studies.”
Abigail did as she was told and when Sarah came in and saw what was happening, she snorted her disgust. There was no need for Mrs. Morley to disturb herself. Marlborough would provide her with all the knowledge and advice she needed.
But Anne plodded on; she studied for a week or so, but confessed to Abigail that she found it all very dull and it really did give her headaches.
Abigail’s soothing fingers, massaging the brow, charmed away the headaches; and it was so much pleasanter to talk than to read.
“Sometimes I think,” said Anne, “that it is unwise to live in the past. Modern problems need modern solutions. Do you think that is right, Hill?”
“I am sure you are right, Madam.”
“Then take away these books, and bring out the cards. Call some of the others. I have a mind for a game.”
William was thoughtful as he rode in Bushey Park on his favourite mount, Sorrel. He was scarcely ever in London at this time, although occasionally he left Hampton for Kensington Palace to attend a meeting of the Council; but he was always glad to return. Sometimes he felt that it was only the need to prosecute the war in Europe which kept him going. He felt death very near at times. But there was comfort in the saddle, as there had been all his life; it was only when