Cowboy Casanova - Lorelei James [100]
“Mmm-hmm.” Ainsley pressed the side of her face against his chest. “I’ll miss this.”
It hit him then, the finality. It wasn’t just the Dom/sub relationship he’d miss; he’d miss her. Everything about being with her.
They stayed wrapped together for so long the room grew cold and Ben knew the fire had dwindled to cinders. He smooched her forehead and slipped away, covering her with a fleece blanket.
Ben restocked the wood stove. He crouched and warmed his hands, his thoughts racing a million miles an hour. His gaze moved to the loan paperwork waiting on the counter. It wasn’t too late. He could toss the envelope into the fire. They could continue exploring this thing between them.
Then what happens? You spend time together and you fall for her even more than you already have? You’ve no guarantee she won’t end it anyway, because you know she’s not convinced this is sustainable. She hasn’t acted like she’s bothered you’re ending it, besides the snippy comments she made at Rielle’s. So either way, you’ve still lost her and you’ve also lost the land.
“Ben?”
He turned around. “Someone took a little cat nap.”
“Sorry.” She yawned. “Did you eat?”
“No.” He seemed to have lost his appetite. “Are you hungry?”
“Not any more. But I’ll leave it for you.”
“You’re taking off?”
She nodded and wrapped the blanket around her nakedness and headed for her clothes, which he’d picked up and placed on the chair. As she finished dressing, her gaze landed on the envelope on the counter. “Did you finish the paperwork?”
“Yep.”
“Will you be around tomorrow if I have specific questions?”
“Should be.”
She grabbed her purse and hastily threw on her coat.
Go to her. Tell her how you feel.
But he couldn’t.
“Goodbye, Ben. I’ll let you know when I hear about the loan.”
“I’d appreciate it. Drive safe.”
Then she was gone.
And for the first time in his life, his dogs didn’t provide the companionship he needed.
Chapter Twenty-Three
She’d probably get cauliflower ear from the hours she spent on the phone. Ainsley rubbed the sore appendage and switched ears. She didn’t get a chance to leave her office until lunch, and when she returned she noticed the blinds in Leslie’s office were closed, which was unusual. She knocked and heard a scratchy, “Come in.”
Leslie looked awful. Pasty skin, vacant eyes, red nose. She started to say something and ended up having a coughing fit. But she waved aside Ainsley’s concern and croaked, “Just a cold. Nothing to worry about.”
“Why are you here today? You should be home in bed.”
Leslie sneezed. Coughed. Then blew her nose. Twice. “Sorry. I’m behind. I can’t afford to miss a day.”
“How much are you accomplishing today anyway?”
“Probably not much.” She let her head fall back into the headrest. “I feel like death.”
“You should’ve called in sick.”
“I tried to, but Jenny transferred me to Turton instead of you. Turton said sick pay didn’t kick in for thirty days. So if I didn’t show up, my check would get docked. You know Roger and I are still trying to get on our feet after both of us being laid off for six months. I need this job. I’ll be fine. I’ve gone to work far sicker than this.”
“I don’t care. You’re going home. And I don’t want to see you back here until you’re really better. I will handle the sick pay issue with human resources, understand?”
Leslie sneezed and reached for a tissue. “Thanks, A.”
“Anything pressing I need to handle for you today?”
“No. Just cancel the loan appointments for this afternoon.”
She’d pass that job to Jenny. “Consider it done. Are you okay to drive?”
“I’m fine. It’s not that far. I might squeeze in a few hours sleep before the kids get home from school.” She handed Ainsley her appointment book. “The names and numbers are in here.”
Ainsley passed Turton’s office. His door was shut, as were his shades. She checked the time. He should be back from lunch by now. She wandered to Jenny’s desk. “Where’s Turton?