Cowboy Casanova - Lorelei James [134]
He knew he’d loaded enough wood in the outside stack by the backdoor to last through the storm. Absentmindedly he shucked his outerwear and piled it by the chair. He’d expected the house to be cold, so the fire burning in the woodstove shocked him. As did the stack of split logs filling the woodbin. He noticed a flash of red out of the corner of his eye and whipped his head toward the kitchen.
Ben had never understood the phrase gob smacked until he saw Ainsley perched on his kitchen counter. In the same clothes she’d worn at the club the first night he’d met her.
Then he had the overwhelming fear this was a fantasy playing out in his mind as he snoozed in the truck.
His breath stalled. His heart raced, every beat a two-part recitation of her name. Nothing existed in that blur of space known as the universe except for her.
A primal voice inside his head roared mine.
Ben erased the distance separating them. He didn’t say a word. He didn’t take the kiss he craved. He simply grabbed her by the hips and threw her over his shoulder.
She shrieked, “Oh my God, Bennett, what are you doing?”
“Hush.” He swatted her ass as he marched to his bedroom. “We’re gonna have this out right now. But since you showed up on my turf, my rules apply.”
“Your rules always apply, no matter where we are.”
“True.” He tossed her on the bed. Before she could scramble away, he pounced on her, pinning her flat to the mattress. Her arms above her head, his knees by her hips to keep her from bucking.
“I cannot believe you just dumped me on the bed—”
“Yes, you can.” He inhaled a deep breath, bringing her scent inside him, allowing it to calm him. “You’re here.” Brilliant observation. “How did you get in?”
“Rielle gave up her key. For good.”
“Why are you here?”
Ainsley tried to act put out, but she couldn’t quite pull it off. “I came to grovel, but I figured the beastly Dom would take it the wrong way if he came home and found me naked on my knees.”
Ben smiled. “You know me so well.” He watched as her eyes turned somber. “I know you too, angel. Talk to me. Start from that night when everything went to hell between us.”
“I’m sorry. I was damn near hysterical at the thought of losing my job when you came to see me.”
“You blamed me.” Not a question.
She nodded. “Made it worse when you admitted you lied to me.”
“I know, baby. I’m sorry too. I never should’ve applied for the loan through National West. It all turned to shit anyway, but I regret putting you through that. Regret putting us both through that.”
“I wanted to hurt you back. So I stupidly made a couple of horrible accusations, and I am so, so sorry.”
He’d felt like he’d been gut shot that night. Knowing he loved her and he’d probably lost her for opening up to her. For hoping she’d accept him, everything about him and having her reject him.
“Yet, you tried to make it right. You tried to tell me you attempted to fix it by withdrawing the loan request. But I was too incensed.” She swallowed hard. “Too…hurt and too busy lashing out at you to listen to what you were saying.”
“You do seem to pay better attention when you’re tied up,” he murmured.
Ainsley’s full lips curved slightly. “You like that far too much, Bennett.”
“No lie.” He grinned without shame.
“I missed that smile of yours. I missed you in the last week.”
“Did you miss Ben? Or Bennett?”
“I’ve figured out they’re one in the same. I can’t have one without the other. I don’t want one without the other.”
Hope nearly blindsided him and he fought to retain control. Ben released her arms so he could touch her. “I gathered from my mom that you didn’t get fired.”
Ainsley blinked at him. “Vi? How would she know about my job at the bank?”
“Didn’t you have lunch with her on Monday?”
“No. I was in Denver Friday night through Monday. That’s why I didn’t swing by this weekend and talk about what’d happened. The district manager got pissy after the phone call and forced me and Turton to attend a weekend seminar in Denver about interpersonal team management.”
Ben tugged