Cross - Ken Bruen [51]
She fumbled in her apron, took out a neatly folded sheet of paper, offered it to me.
'He left this for me.'
With a sinking heart, I took it, unfolded it, read:
My Dear Mamie
I'm so sorry, I can't go on and please pray for me, I'm bringing Blackie for company, there's a few hundred euro in my sock drawer. I love you Mam.
XXXXXXX Eoin
I handed her back the note, unable to say a single word.
She said, 'He used his belt to tie Blackie to him. It was his Guards one, he was fierce proud of that. When they took his uniform, he held on to the belt. Do you think they'll take it back?'
'No . . . No, they won't.'
I got up to leave, promised I'd call in from time to time, check on her.
She said, 'You never ate your cake. Wait a minute.' And she went to the alcove, wrapped it in paper, said, 'That will be nice after your dinner. A growing man like yourself, you need something sweet for energy.'
She reached up and gave me a hug.
After I got out, I walked down the street in a daze, the slice of cake in my hand like the worst kind of recrimination.
The pub beckoned stronger than in a long time, but the odd thing, I felt it would be a real slap in the face to Mrs Heaton to use her grief to fuel my own desperation. I was guilty of so many things, but adding her to the list, that I couldn't quite stretch to.
I swallowed another of Stewart's pills.
22
'A thirsty evil; when we drink we die.'
Shakespeare
Gail was about to leave the club when the man spoke to her.
He said, 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer?'
She'd heard every line in the book, but this caught her. The guy was older than most of the other clubbers, but she could see he was in shape, a tight lean body. But the eyes, the eyes were the lure. Hard, cold, like she knew she had her own self. He was wearing jeans, and a white open-neck shirt that showed off his build.
She said, 'Is that, like, a line?'
He shrugged. 'I'm sitting over there, having me some tequila shots. You want to do some?'
She loved tequila, got you there in jig time. He didn't wait for an answer, just moved on and sat down. That appealed big time. Usually guys were whinging, pleading with her to join them. This one, he acted like he couldn't care less.
She went and sat opposite him. A row of shots were lined on the table. She asked, looking around at the dancers, 'Aren't you afraid someone will steal your drinks?'
He gave a small smile.
'No one will steal my drinks.'
Solid.
She raised a glass, said, 'Cheers.' Downed it and felt the nigh instant hit.
He was staring at her with only a vague disinterest. He said, 'Have another.'
She did.
Then, as she let it jolt, she asked, 'Aren't you having some?'
He flexed his arms – she could see the muscle.
'I'm on another trip.'
Gail was astonished. For the first time in – how long? – she was interested in another person. This guy had some moves.
'Like dope you mean?' she asked.
He moved a glass towards her.
'That's some of it?'
She could see the flames building in the corner of the club, and on impulse asked, 'Do you see . . . flames?'
He said with a knowing look, a half smile, 'I ignite them, that's part of the trip.'
She had to know.
'And the rest of the trip – what's that?'
He leaned over, said, 'I kill people.'
It had been such a long time since she'd felt attracted to a man, indeed to any human being, but this guy, he had a grace, a litheness, like a panther, and that aura of darkness she knew so well.
He drained a tot, stood, said, 'Time for my walk by the ocean.'
Didn't ask if she wanted to come, so she simply followed him.
Outside the club, he hailed a cab and turned to her.
'Aren't you afraid of what I might do?'
The tequila blended nicely with her psychosis and she said, 'You'd need to be good.'
He held the door of the cab for her, said, 'That's what I thought.'
He told the driver to take them to Salthill and sat back, staring straight ahead. She loved that, no need for any of that small-talk shite. She felt a delicious frisson of anticipation as they passed the site of the burned-out car. It was gone