Cruddy - Lynda Barry [106]
“Fuck off, Susie,” said Vicky. “Cover yourself up.”
“SHIT AND GODDAMN! I HAVE TO GET ORGANIZED!”
Later, in the attic, in the candlelight, the Stick and I lay together having some revelations.
He said, “I do still piss the bed.”
I said, “I killed a lot of people.”
He ran his finger over the inside of my arm and said the words spelled in scars.
I’m sorry.
He said, “Can I see your knife? Can I see Little Debbie? Is that what you used to do this?”
I handed her over.
He said, “What happened to Sheila?”
“She’s with the father. If he fell, she is at the bottom. If he dried out like beef jerky, she is still his companion. Before I left I shoved her in pretty hard.”
He ran his fingers over the raised letters again.
“You did this.”
I nodded.
“Are you sorry?”
“No.”
And we were quiet. And I crawled to the oval window. I was looking into the sky, I was wanting to find a satellite for him. I was thinking there had to be one tumbling somewhere above us. I didn’t see him do it. Make the deep silent slices upwards from his wrists. “I’m a bleeder,” he said, “I’m a bleeder, I’m a bleeder.” But I didn’t know what he meant until it was too late.
And I know I was screaming and I know I was scrambling after him out of the window and along the dormer ledge but I cannot say if he jumped or he fell. It seemed like he did neither. To me it seemed as if he took a calm step into thin air.
And so the ambulance came and so the cops came and I was very hysterical and Vicky was very hysterical and so we were all taken to Emergency and so the mother was contacted and came in screaming with her neck cords sticking out shouting she would kill me she would kill me she was absolutely going to kill me and so I shouted back that she should do it, I didn’t care and so she was restrained and so I was restrained and so the cops asked me questions and so Vicky yelled from the next cubicle Don’t Narc Me Out, Roberta! Don’t! Don’t! Don’t!
And so we were kept overnight for observation and so the surgery man came in to say, “I’m afraid we struck out, I’m afraid he did not make it. He did not make it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” And so the Stick was gone.
And so Susie was taken away and so Vicky was taken to a foster home, which she busted out of immediately. And so she called me said would I meet her, would I go with her because it turns out Neil Young is playing at the Hec Edmondson pavilion and it’s festival seating and if we get there before the sun comes up we will be the first in line and then we will be in the front row when he sings “Cinnamon Girl.”
And so that is what I am about to do right now. Sneak out and meet Vicky by the Diggy’s Dumpster. And then tomorrow night, after the concert she promised she will come with me to the train tracks. And she promised she will give me the little push I need unless something happens and she gets together with Neil Young.
And so if you are reading this, if you are holding this book in your hands right now it means my plan worked completely, I am gone. I am gone. I got my happy ending.
And so whoever you are, if you want the money, you can have it. My description of the location is decent and followable. But watch out for Dreamland. Beware of the Air Force. Stay Navy all the way.
That is all.
This is the End.
I dedicate this book to my sister, Julie.
ABOUT THE TYPE
Cruddy is set in Monotype Fournier—discovered in the 1930 edition of Moby Dick designed and illustrated by Rockwell Kent. The typeface itself was recut for Monotype in 1924 under the direction of Stanley Morison. The original was created by Pierre Simon Fournier around 1742 and called “St. Augustin Ordinaire” in his Manuel Typographique. The earliest of the “transitional” typefaces, Fournier was a bridge to the more severe “modern” style made popular by Bodoni later in the century.