Crusade - James Lowder [65]
"Then why are you here?" Vangerdahast interjected from the other side of the tent. His face was hidden in the shadows, but Alusair could imagine the look of puzzlement it held.
Her eyes still closed, the princess sighed. "I thought it might be time to forget the past." She turned to her father, her mask of cocky self-assurance cracking for the first time. "I thought you would finally accept me for what I am, not what you want me to be."
Vangerdahast walked to Azoun's side. "I'll explore the camp for a while," he said softly in the king's ear.
Once Vangerdahast had gone, Azoun waited for Alusair to say something.
After a few moments of continued silence, he gave up. "You threw away your heritage, Allie." The king paused, trying to push the anger from his voice. The more he thought about his daughter, however, the angrier he became. "And for what did you give it up?" the king snapped after a moment. "To become a sell-sword? A freebooter? You could have ruled Cormyr one day!"
Alusair laughed bitterly. "Tanalasta is older, remember? She'll be queen, alongside whomever you and Mother decide will make a suitable king. Even if I could rule," she added, turning away from the king, "I wouldn't want to."
"You've no respect for responsibility," Azoun replied. "That's your biggest problem. You're a princess. But do you use the gifts with which the Goddess of Luck has blessed you? Of course not." He pointed an accusing finger at Alusair. "You waste your life roaming the countryside."
The princess stood, her back still to Azoun. "This was a mistake," she said, a measure of hardness returning to her voice. "You're just not ready."
Hearing the pain in his child's voice did more to wipe away Azoun's fury than anything he could have done himself. "I can't help but be angry, Allie," he said. "I just don't see why you couldn't live at court. Was life so terrible that you had to run?"
When the princess turned around again, bright tears sparkled in her eyes.
The light from the lanterns made each drop look like a diamond as it rolled down Alusair's cheek. "I am not a politician, Father. I don't belong in the court." She wiped her eyes with her doublet's sleeve. "You used to tell me stories about the King's Men, how you used to sneak out and go on adventures. What I did isn't all that different."
"Of course it's different," Azoun said almost automatically. "I was never gone for long, and I always returned."
Alusair started to say something, then paused and shook her head.
"What is it, Allie?" the king asked, holding his hand out to his daughter.
"You can be honest."
Looking into her father's eyes, Alusair wondered if she really should speak her mind or let the subject drop. No, she decided, things will never be resolved if I avoid this conflict. "You must regret it," she said softly.
A look of confusion crossed the king's face. "Regret what?"
Alusair swallowed the last of her tears and sat down across from Azoun.
"Coming back. You must regret ever coming back from your adventures with Dimswart and Winefiddle and the others."
"I had responsibilities, Allie. I couldn't-"
"No, Father. Not couldn't, didn't." She squeezed the king's hand. "Even when I was a little girl, I heard it in your voice when you told me about the King's Men."
"Perhaps I regret it a little," the king conceded. He gently pulled his hand away from Alusair and steepled his fingers before his face. "But I had a responsibility to Cormyr-as you do-and I fulfilled it. Anyway," he added, smiling a little, "I never could have had a family or done what good I've managed for Cormyr gallivanting around the countryside as Balin the Cavalier."
"And you wouldn't have been forced to do so many petty wrongs either," the princess noted firmly. "You can't worry about each individual in Cormyr, only the state as a whole. So when you tax, you can't consider the minority it really hurts. You take away freedom in deference to law. That's wrong."
Azoun frowned as he considered his daughter's words. "What's the alternative? I do good