Crystal Lies - Melody Carlson [106]
Jacob walked over to the front door now. “Yeah, right.”
“Your mom’s a great cook, Jacob. You missed out on a really good dinner.”
“Yeah, you bet.” He slung his backpack over a shoulder as he reached for the doorknob.
“I wish you’d take something with you,” I said returning to the living room area.
“I’ll just bet you do, Mom!” But the way he said “Mom” sounded like he really meant “Traitor.” And as ridiculous as it seemed, I knew that’s just what he thought—that I had invited Marcus over here in order to corner him and drag him, kicking and screaming, into Hope’s Wings for imprisonment and subsequent treatment.
Jacob just shook his head in disgust, as if he was seriously disappointed in me, as if I was the enemy. Then he walked out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.
My hands were shaking as I sat down in the rocker across from Marcus. “What just happened?” I finally managed to ask.
“Paranoia is one of the many side effects of crystal meth use, Glennis. It doesn’t take much to set it off either. But in Jacob’s defense, it probably seemed perfectly obvious to him that I was here to take him away tonight.”
I nodded. “That’s what I thought he was thinking.”
“The best thing you can do in that situation is to remain calm and be honest.”
“Calm.” I took in a deep breath. “I was frightened of my own son just now, Marcus. I’m not sure what I would’ve done if you hadn’t been here.”
“I think the problem was that I was here, Glennis. In Jacob’s mind, right now, I am a threat to his freedom. He sees me as the enforcer who will take away his fun.”
“Fun? I just don’t get it, Marcus. How can anyone think it’s fun to be so messed up? Why on earth does he keep going back to it?”
“Because it makes him feel good.”
“But how can that be? Honestly, I don’t understand.”
“Meth is like cocaine, Glennis. Most addicts say that the high is incredible.”
“I know,” I admitted. “I’ve read that it’s totally euphoric, that it makes you feel powerful and creative and all sorts of stuff. Sometimes I even think I should try it myself.” I made a face, and Marcus laughed.
“Unfortunately that high never lasts. Almost everyone I’ve treated says that it’s never as good as that first time.”
“Then why do they continue?”
“They think they can recreate that big high again.”
“But they can’t.”
“Not really. But they still get a brief feeling of euphoria. Unfortunately, they have to use more and more meth to feel any effect. And that’s when it gets dangerous.”
“Because of overdose.”
He nodded. “But we don’t need to think about that now.” He glanced at his watch. “Besides it’s getting pretty late.”
I thanked him for coming and walked him across the small room. “I’m glad you were still here when Jacob showed up,” I admitted as he opened the door.
“So am I,” he said, smiling down at me. “And he really is a good kid, Glennis. He just needs to get clean.”
I nodded. “I know.” Then I closed the door and listened as Marcus went down the steps. Still feeling a bit worried about Jacob and what he might be capable of doing while under the influence of crystal meth, I secured the deadbolt and left the outside light on. Then I got down on my knees and begged God to do something.
“Please,” I cried out in desperation. “You’ve got to help Jacob. Somehow you’ve got to get through to him, God. Can’t you make him see that his life is worth so much more than this? Can’t you do something? Anything?” I continued like that for quite a while. Then feeling completely exhausted and not any more hopeful than when I’d started praying, I headed for bed.
But once in bed, all I could think about was Jacob. Where was he tonight? Did he really have anyone to stay with? Was he out on the streets? I knew that temperatures were supposed to drop again that night. “In the teens,” the weatherman had said that morning. What if Jacob was so strung out that he didn’t realize how cold it was out there? What if he fell