Crystal Lies - Melody Carlson [110]
I shrugged. Who cares? I wanted to ask, but remained silent.
“Why did he do this to me?”
I picked up one of the notes. The words scrawled in black felt-tip pen seemed etched in anger and pain. I read it aloud, wanting Geoffrey to really hear it. “Sorry to be such a disappointment to you, Dad. But here’s what I think of your precious house. Maybe it’s time you learned that stuff is just stuff, but people feel the pain. Your lame excuse for a son, Jacob.”
The other notes were similar. All raging and angry and symptomatic of deep anguish. Didn’t Geoffrey get it? I held up another note. This one was unfinished and sounded almost suicidal. “Can’t you see that he needs you, Geoffrey?” I demanded. “Don’t you know that this is a cry for help?”
“It’s insanity, Glennis. Jacob needs to be locked up until he can get over this drug habit. It’s making him crazy.”
“You’ve said it yourself,” I reminded him. “And it’s taken me a while to accept this, but you were right: only Jacob can fix Jacob. And until he’s willing to get rehab treatment, there’s nothing you can do to fix him.” I sighed. “Well, other than to love him, that is.”
“Love him?” Geoffrey stood up now, his hands in tight fists and his face twisted with bitter rage. “I think I might actually kill him if I saw him today. Look at this place, Glennis. Look at what he’s done to me. I’m supposed to love this?”
“Not this, Geoffrey. Your son. You’re supposed to love your son.” I started walking toward the door now. It was clear that my presence wasn’t helping anything. I paused halfway to the door, turning to look at the man who had once been my husband, at the house that had once been impeccable, everything perfectly in place. I figured it would probably be put back together again before long. And maybe even better than before if Geoffrey was as adept at insurance claims as he was at breaking hearts.
“You can’t blame this all on Jacob,” I told him in an even voice now.
“I don’t, Glennis.” He folded his arms across his chest and glared at me. “I blame you, too.”
I blinked. “Fine. I’m willing to take some of the blame. But you need to take some of it yourself, Geoffrey.”
He didn’t respond.
“I know I’m not perfect,” I continued. “And I made some mistakes in this marriage and as a mom, too. But you have hurt all of us—Sarah and Jacob and me. You broke promises, Geoffrey. Important lifetime promises! And it’s ironic. You’re so angry at Jacob right now, but think about it, Geoffrey. You’re no better than he is. You lied to us, you cheated us, you stole from us. And if you think you can just calmly walk away from your family as if nothing whatsoever is wrong…if you think you can run off and take a cruise with your new girlfriend and that life will go on just the same as usual, well, then you’re going to be in for a few disappointments.”
“Is that a threat?”
I shook my head. “No, no, not at all. I just want you to know that what goes around comes around, and even though it was wrong for Jacob to do”—I waved my hand at the mess that surrounded us—“this, I think maybe you had it coming.” Then I walked out.
Okay, I wasn’t glad that Jacob had done what he’d done. In fact, I was seriously worried, not only about his mental state, which seemed frightening enough, but also that he could end up in jail because of this. Of course, there was nothing I could do about it one way or another. And I tried to convince myself that maybe, just maybe, this might finally force Jacob to face up to the seriousness of his addiction problem. But what I’d said to Geoffrey was true; I did feel that he should bear some of the responsibility for Jacob’s problems. No, it wasn’t Geoffrey’s fault that Jacob had started messing with drugs. But he had let Jacob down. A lot. And Jacob had often complained that his dad didn’t love him or that he loved Sarah more.
So maybe this whole mess could be a good reminder to Geoffrey that, like Jacob had said in his note,“stuff is just stuff, but people feel pain.” Maybe this was a lesson that Geoffrey needed to learn.