Crystal Lies - Melody Carlson [13]
I studied Jacob’s chocolate brown eyes, his straight nose, sweet smile, and sandy-blond curls. I looked and I looked at his face, trying to determine if something had been hidden in there that I’d missed. Storm clouds gathering that I’d never noticed. But all I could see was a happy family.
I picked up Sarah’s senior prom photo and, despite myself, smiled. She had looked so beautiful that night. Her auburn hair, the same shade that mine had once been, had been piled high on her head, and her green eyes had sparkled with youth and excitement. It was as if she’d finally come into her own around then. Like me, she’d been a late bloomer. Always the academic and model child, she’d been on the sidelines socially.
But something had happened in her senior year, and she’d just blossomed. The next thing we knew we were packing her off to college, where she’d continued to blossom. Even now she was off touring Europe for the entire summer with several college friends. I had balked at the idea at first, worried that it was too expensive or that something could go wrong or that Sarah might get hurt. But Geoffrey took Sarah’s side, saying that she of all people deserved this kind of treat. Meaning that compared to her younger brother, Sarah was a dream child. Of course, she was also Daddy’s little princess. Always had been, and unless she did something terribly regrettable—something that would shame her father—she probably always would remain on his pedestal.
But as Sarah’s life got better and better, her younger brother’s life went steadily downhill. It felt as if the scales had suddenly been tipped—Sarah was up and Jacob was down. But was that how it really worked? Was that how life balanced out the blessings and the curses?“Why, God?” I asked for the umpteenth time. Why was this happening to us? But God loomed as silent as my big empty house. And stifled by the heavy stillness that made it difficult to breathe or even think, I finally went outside in search of relief.
I’d always loved to garden, but that last summer was different. Oh, I’d planted as usual in the spring. Slightly bolstered by the possibility that Jacob might even make it through to graduation, I’d planted starts of tomatoes, peas, zucchini—all kinds of things. Then distracted and possibly depressed during the following summer months, mostly by Jacob’s unexplained absences from home and my growing suspicions that drugs were still involved, I had neglected, among other things, my garden. Oh, I’d left the automatic sprinkler system on, and I’d figured our landscaping people would maintain it, but I hadn’t actually gone out there myself during the past several weeks.
But on this day I decided to go see it, hoping that my faithful flowers would boost my spirits when I needed it most. As usual, I first walked out into the manicured backyard, which the lawn guys kept to Geoffrey’s high standards of perfection, and then past the pool, which, thanks to the pool man, shone like a polished piece of turquoise. Another one of Geoffrey’s indulgences, since it seemed he was the only one to use the pool much anymore. I continued on around, back to the concealed area I’d been allowed to keep. This “out of sight” area was one of the few spots in our home that Geoffrey didn’t really care about. It was my personal little paradise.
My sagging spirits began to lift as I heard the birds chirping in the tall trees, and I think I actually began to relax a bit as I followed the curving flagstone path that Jacob had helped me to put down when he was about thirteen and eager to show off his muscles. I breathed in the fresh air, looking forward to the peaceful comfort I would find in the happy faces of my colorful flowers and hearty vegetables and lush green foliage. But when I came around the tall boxwood hedge that sheltered my garden, I was greeted with only weeds and grief.
Something had obviously gone wrong in my automatic watering system this year, most likely the battery in the timer, I figured, as I surveyed