Crystal Lies - Melody Carlson [41]
“Hey, that’s okay. I know I’m a pretty crappy mom.”
“No,” I said,“I’m sure you’re a good mom.”
She laughed. “Yeah, well, you’re the only one then.”
“Where are your kids today?”
“With their dad. Don’t even ask me why I let them go. We’re having this stupid custody battle, and I’ve told my lawyer that I don’t want him to have any custody at all because he’s such a total jerk. But then Mike calls up and acts really sweet and says how he wants to take the kids someplace special, and, well, I’m so tired of being a full-time mommy, like 24/7, you know, that I just agree. Great mom, huh?”
“Hey, it’s hard when your kids are little,” I told her. “Do you have any family around to help out?”
She shook her head. “No, my family’s all in the Midwest. I came out here with Mike, and according to my stupid state-appointed lawyer, I can’t leave the state until this thing is worked out. And maybe not even then if Mike gets any custody. It really sucks.”
“Do you think there’s any chance you two can work it out?” I asked. “And get back together?”
“For the sake of the children?” she said in a dramatic voice. “That’s what my parents keep telling me. ‘Stay together for the sake of the children, Cammie.’ Like never mind that Mike is the one who stepped out on me, or that he’s the one who messed everything up. No, I’m supposed to stick with this slime bag, for the sake of the children. Right!”
“It’s hard, isn’t it?”
“Yeah! It makes me freaking furious sometimes.”
“Me, too.” I held up my bag of broken crystal as evidence. “And it’s hard even when your kids aren’t little. My college-aged daughter thinks I should stick it out too, for the sake of the family.”
Cammie shook her head. “Don’t you wish they’d all just butt out?” I nodded. “I sort of do.”
“Was that your son I saw coming out of your apartment today?”
“Yes, that’s Jacob.”
“He’s cute.”
I smiled. “Well, he’s only nineteen, plus he’s got some, uh, problems to work out.”
“Drugs?”
I turned and looked at her. How did she know?“What makes you think that?”
“It’s just the most obvious guess. I think about half the kids in the country are messing with drugs. I know Mike was.”
“Really? Was your husband an addict?”
“An addict? I don’t know about that. I guess I’d just describe him as more of a recreational user. But I never went in for that crap. Oh, I smoked a little pot now and then back when we were in high school, but I don’t really like how it makes me feel. I don’t even like alcohol that much anymore.”
“That’s probably good,” I told her. “Especially for your kids.”
“Yeah. I figure I’m sort of all they have right now. And I may not be much, but I probably need to be sober for them. And even though I smoke, I don’t do it in the apartment. I know that secondhand smoke is bad, especially for kids.”
“Well, see,” I told her as I stood up. “You are a good mom.”
She laughed again. “I wish.”
“And if you need a break from your kids sometime, feel free to ask me to watch them for you.”
“Really?” She stood up and ground out her cigarette butt beneath the heel of her flip-flop.
“Sure, I love kids.”
“Well, that’s cool and everything, but I don’t want to take advantage, you know.”
“Don’t worry,” I assured her. “I’ll feel free to say no if it’s not a good time.”
“All right then.” She nodded. “I appreciate that.”
“Take care,” I told her as I picked up my broom, dustpan, and heavy paper sack. “You, too.”
I went upstairs to my apartment and started to throw away the broken crystal shards, then stopped. Looking down into the bag, I decided that perhaps I should hang on to this foolish mess for just a while longer—I wasn’t even sure why. But I took out a large wooden salad bowl and carefully poured the broken glass into it. Then I set this on the coffee table, and to my surprise it was rather pretty. It was also a good visual reminder of what my marriage had become—broken shards of what had once appeared flawless.
I decided to