Crystal Lies - Melody Carlson [65]
“Then how can you help them?” I demanded.
“Reckon you can’t.” He leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest. “Not unless they’re willing to help themselves.”
“Yes, I’ve heard that.”
“But you threw him out?”
“Yes, that’s what my counselor recommended. She said if I didn’t, I would be an enabler.”
He nodded. “Your counselor is right.”
“Then why do I feel so horrible now?” I asked him. “Why do I feel so guilty that I’m certain I must be the worst mother in the civilized world? Maybe even the uncivilized world. I can imagine that third world mothers do a much better job than what I’ve done.”
“Can’t blame yourself, Glennis. Doesn’t do no good. Your Jacob is the only one who can fix this thing.”
“But what if he won’t? What if he goes out and shoots up so much of that stuff that it kills him?”
“That’s the chance we take.”
“The chance we take?” I demanded. “Don’t you think there’s a pretty good chance that my son’s life is going to be destroyed by this, Jack? Am I supposed to sit idly by and wait until the police or the hospital calls to inform me that my son has just died of a methamphetamine overdose? Or maybe he’ll get in a car wreck while he’s under the influence. Maybe he’ll kill someone else as well as himself. Or maybe he’ll get hit by a train while he’s so high he can’t even see it coming. Or maybe—”
“Or maybe he’ll get so sick of his drugs that he’ll wake up one morning and say enough is enough,” added Jack.
“I wish it were true.”
“In the meantime, you’d better be taking care of yourself, Glennis. When was the last time you had a good night’s sleep?”
“I can’t even remember.”
“Did you know that people who go around driving cars or operating machinery while sleep deprived are as dangerous as drunk drivers?” He nodded as if to accentuate his point. “I saw that on the Today show last week.”
“Are you suggesting that I shouldn’t be operating that washing machine?” I asked, eying my basket of dirty laundry still sitting on the washer.
He chuckled. “S’pect that won’t hurt none.”
I got up and went over to fill the washer.
“But you need to take care of yourself, Glennis. You need to be eating right and getting enough sleep.”
I put the last item in and began digging around in my backpack for my roll of quarters. I knew I had put a brand-new roll in there just days ago. I dug and dug but couldn’t find anything. Finally I dumped the contents of the backpack out on the folding table and really searched.
“Whatcha looking for?” asked Jack.
“My roll of quarters,” I told him. “I just put it in here.”
“Where do you usually keep that backpack?” asked Jack.
“In the coat closet,” I told him. “With the extra laundry baskets.”
“Is it possible that your son might’ve—”
“No!” I turned and stared at Jack. “Jacob wouldn’t take my laundry quarters. My son may be an addict, but he’s certainly not a thief.”
Jack nodded, but I could tell he wasn’t convinced.
“I probably just misplaced them,” I told him as I turned away and began reloading the backpack. “I’ve been so absent-minded lately. Who knows what I may have done with them.” Then I turned back around just in time to see Jack putting the last quarter into my washing machine. He pushed them in and closed the lid.
“What are you doing?” I demanded.
He smiled. “Just my good deed for the day.”
“But what about the soap?” I questioned, reaching into my backpack for my laundry soap.
“It’s in there.”
Now I felt foolish. I’d just jumped all over this kind and generous man for suggesting that Jacob may have taken my quarters, and now he was helping me.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “You’re probably right. It’s possible that Jacob did take that roll of quarters. But he’s never done anything like that before.”
“Addiction changes you,” he told me. “Makes you do things you wouldn’t normally do.”
“I guess.”
“You gotta understand, Glennis, the thing that drives an addict is getting his next drink, his next high. Nothing else matters. Can you understand that?”
“I’m trying.” I sighed. “But it just doesn’t make much sense.”
“Never does,” said Jack,