Dance Lest We All Fall Down - Margaret Willson [104]
So I had returned almost every year. And over the years, Robert and I had become friends.
“I’m feeling overwhelmed,” I told him over my tuna sandwich. “I’m not doing a good job at anything.”
“From the depths of self-incrimination.” He took a bite of his own sandwich. “You’re doing a lot, trying to satisfy a lot of people.”
“I’m trying to be a decent teacher, but I’m not sure I’m teaching anyone.”
“Oh, you are. You teach me every time we meet.”
I laughed. “Thank you, Robert. You are very kind, but I mean a real teacher.”
“So do I.”
“No, Robert, you teach meditation. You know what I mean.”
“I know you have a great deal to teach all of us.” He put down his sandwich. “Margaret, I consider myself privileged to be in front of groups of people who have the courage to explore the depth that comes with meditation. I am on the same road as they are; I have just devoted more time to it over the years and have some insights that I’m pleased to see that people sometimes find useful. But I am still vulnerable. I work to understand how my mind feels anger or depression. I watch it, but I still feel them both. And everyone who comes to me hoping to learn, to find deeper understanding, teaches me. You teach all the time. And you have a lot to give.”
“It doesn’t feel like that now.” I picked at my sandwich. “I don’t really want to teach at university anymore. Bahia Street is bigger now, it takes a lot. If I can give more to Bahia Street, I feel I have to. But I can’t just leave my job.”
“Why not?”
“It’s my career. Also, Bahia Street isn’t going to pay me much. It’s not what you might call a secure employment option.”
“Well, only you know that.” Robert calmly took another bite of his sandwich. “I think you already know the path that will be the most rewarding. You just have to relax so you can go there.”
I glared at him. He smiled back.
“Meditate on it,” he said. “Open your senses to what comes. I’m sure you’ll know then what you want to do.”
To a Mailing List of 150: December 15, 2000
Dear Donors, Friends, and Volunteers,
I wish to start this letter with a note of appreciation to our vice-president, Eduardo, who has decided to leave the board. His energy, charm, insight and experience have all greatly influenced what Bahia Street is today.
Well, it is that time again: holiday season and the end of the year for students in Brazil. The girls have taken their exams, and one could hardly be prouder of the results. Paula, Dazá, and Luedji passed everything on their first try. This is the first time so many of the girls have passed everything on their first taking of the exams and represents a wonderful achievement on their parts. They will now go to the equivalent of the eighth grade.
Juliana, who has always been very studious, passed everything except math, a subject in which she has always had difficulty. Juliana began to cry when she learned this, but Rita and her tutor reassured her, supporting her solidly while she studies to retake the exam. Juliana is both very kind-hearted and has a fierce desire to succeed at anything she tries. This combination endears her to many, including her teachers.
Of the younger girls, Aqualuxe passed everything; Aninha and Jessica need to take the math exam over but passed the year because their other marks were quite high and their math scores were just below passing. This again is wonderful news, and they are all very proud of their achievements.
A central principle of Bahia Street has always been the strength of a partnership, where peoples of varied countries, races, and classes can learn from and help each other. It has been vital that our infrastructure reflect the changes we are trying to effect in society, both in terms of class and race. This means that all people working directly with the program in Brazil need to have first-hand experience with the conditions and challenges the girls are experiencing. The idea is also that these same