Dance Lest We All Fall Down - Margaret Willson [91]
“And I don’t know how I’m going to raise the money to pay for even next month of Bahia Street. We haven’t paid the tutor this month, and Rita’s not taking any salary. I don’t know how she’s doing it.”
“You aren’t either, are you?”
“No, but I’m in a better position than she is.” Phyllis nodded in silence as she put the kettle on the stove. “Do you remember I mentioned Joyce, the professional grant-writer who said she might help me write grants? That would be great in theory. But, I don’t know, Phyllis. Who’s going to give us a grant for a project that helps six girls? `Help us change the world. We’re really doing it one girl at a time.’”
“Better than a lot of groups. They don’t do anything at all.” She handed me a steaming mug of tea. New mug, I noticed.
“Well, I don’t know about Bahia Street either. You know the story about Madalena and how we had to hire a new tutor, Ana?”
“Yes.” Phyllis put down her mug of tea and sat across from me. “Maybe you can help me, Phyllis. I don’t like her. I understood that Madalena wouldn’t work, but personally, I liked her. But Ana—Ana doesn’t like me either. I don’t think she likes anyone who’s white.”
“Histories of oppression do that.”
“But it’s as though she has a huge chip on her shoulder. And it’s more than that. Even for the short time I saw her at Bahia Street, she seemed to be taking over. I think she just wants to use Bahia Street as a jumping off point to further her career. She doesn’t seem to accept that I understand Portuguese, so she kept saying things in front of me. I heard her tell the girls that she knows more about education programs than Rita.”
“Maybe she does.”
“Yeah, but Rita is supposed to be the director! It seems to me that she’s just undermining her. And she recently wrote a grant for Bahia Street. Rita sent me a copy. It says that she and Rita founded Bahia Street and that ‘an American woman’ had given some financial assistance! I don’t mind Rita getting all the kudos for Bahia Street, but this other interloper taking credit where none is due—it hurts.” I sipped my tea, irritated. “I heard her telling the girls that Bahia Street was much less organized before she came, and that she ran it now while Rita just helped her. She also told the girls that Bahia Street would never accept a white child because whites are the oppressors, and that a poor, white child given education would just become a rich white oppressor.”
Phyllis laughed. “We could do with Ana here in Seattle.”
“No, we don’t. She’d just alienate people.”
Phyllis raised her hands as if weighing the issue. “Maybe. But, what about Rita? She doesn’t want Bahia Street to be a separatist organization, I’m sure. What does she say?”
“I haven’t talked with her. It all happened so fast while I was there. And then while I’m here, I don’t really know what’s going on there. We can’t talk on the phone either since Rita doesn’t have a phone. I don’t know, maybe Rita is more inclined to follow what Ana believes than what we had decided before.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Margaret. You’ve known Rita for how long now? Almost ten years?”
“Yeah. I guess I keep thinking that Rita and I are beyond race. That we are such good friends that we can ignore it. But it isn’t like that, is it?’
Phyllis quietly stirred honey into her second cup of tea. “No, Margaret. It’s not. But what you’re talking about here is trust. Even if two people really love each other, the world will never let them forget they are of different races. You and Rita had better confront that.” She laid her used spoon onto a pretty, blue saucer that she’d placed on the table for just that purpose. “Because Margaret, once you’ve figured this out, you and Rita can use other people’s perceptions to your own advantage. If you and Rita are going to make any real change in racial inequality, you’re going to have to go beyond other people’s—and institutional—prejudice. I know race works differently in Brazil, but you’re still looking at discrimination and inequality.” She looked at me. “The moment any of us