Dangerous in Diamonds - Madeline Hunter [57]
“It was commonly known in your father’s household that I married. Probably no one thought it worth mentioning to you.”
“I would have expected my father to do so.”
“Servants come and go, and their lives are not fodder for drawing room discussions.”
“You were not just a servant.”
“Actually, that was all I ever was. Your father and his wife indulged my pride in small ways, but in the end I was no better than a scullery maid to your family and would have received similar consideration in all things, if not for my connections to the county where you have your country estate.”
His smile fell at the comparison she used. His pale eyes lost more color. He speared her with a curious, almost cautious gaze.
“Do you still visit the county?” he asked. “I have not been back long enough to call on any of the old families.”
“I correspond with a few of them.” She told him some of the events in those lives from the last few years. She made sure he understood that the daughter of one of that county’s gentlemen would still be heard and received by some of Becksbridge’s neighbors.
He listened as if she made small talk, but she trusted she had made her point. When she was done, he smiled in a too-familiar way, as if he had not understood her meaning at all.
“You are so formal now,” he said. “Not the happy girl I remember. I confess that I was hoping last night’s coolness was only surprise at work. And discretion.”
His boldness astonished her. “I am happy enough, but no longer a girl. No longer ignorant of the world. No longer innocent and not nearly so trusting.”
“That is perhaps for the best. And as a widow, you understand what men are about now, don’t you?”
She could hardly believe her ears. She worried that he was going to fulfill Castleford’s prediction and say something stupid now, and that this inappropriate turn in the conversation might be the prelude to a proposition. Surely he could not be that much a rogue.
“Yes, whether they are honorable or not, I know what men are about. Just as I know about the protection that privilege gives some men, if they are such scoundrels as to exploit their stations.”
He looked at her, not pleased and, she hoped, at least a bit concerned. She looked right back. She wanted him to know that she now understood what he was about. She wanted him to worry that she might share it with others.
“Will you be in town long?” he asked.
“A week or so, no more.”
“Then you will return to . . .” It became a question.
She chose to let his words dangle there.
Silence ensued. He finally gathered his gloves and hat and took his leave.
“I am sure that I will see you again before you go down to the country,” he said on departing. “You may not believe this, but I have thought of you often over the years.”
She watched the drawing room door close behind him, then released in a long exhale the emotions she had been holding inside her. What a horrible man, not to have the decency to stay away from her.
“You are creating a spectacle,” Hawkeswell said. “It will be the talk of the clubs and coffee shops all day.”
“I assumed they were all staring at you,” Castleford replied.
Actually, he assumed nothing of the kind. The reactions as they rode their horses down Bond Street beneath the late morning sun could not be missed, and it was obvious which gentleman was causing the surprise.
People he knew well and others he barely recognized actually stopped their horses and feet to watch him. A few women in a passing carriage were so rude as to point out the window in his direction while they exclaimed over his presence. One would think the prince regent was riding by stark naked, from the attention sent his way.
“They can all go to hell,” he said. “If I want to be up and about town at this hour, that is my business. This gawking only proves my long-held opinion that most people are small-minded fools.”
It also proved that Daphne Joyes was ruining him, and he had better put an end to it. After all, he was riding about town at this hour because he had discovered that being in bed got boring