Darkness at Noon - Arthur Koestler [85]
him a step further down the ladder. "As harmless," said Gletkin, "asyour purely theoretic dissertations to young Kieffer on the necessity of the removal of the leader by violence?" Rubashov rubbed his spectacles on his sleeve. Had the conversation been reallyso harmless as he tried to make himself believe? Certainly he had neither "negotiated" nor come to any agreement; and comfortable Herr von Z. had had no kind of official authority to do so. The whole thing could at most be considered as what was known in diplomatic language as "taking soundings". But this kind of sounding had been a link in the logical chain of his ideas of that time; besides, it fitted in with certain Party traditions. Had not the old leader, shortly before the Revolution, used the services of the General Staff of that same country in order to be able to return from exile and lead the Revolution to victory? Had he not later, in the first peace treaty, abandoned certain territories as a price for being left in peace? "The old man sacrifices space to gain time," a witty friend of Rubashov's had remarked. The forgotten, "harmless" conversation fitted into the chain so well that it was now difficult for Rubashov to see it otherwise than through Gletkin's eyes. This same Gletkin, who read clumsily, whose brain worked just as clumsily and arrived at simple, graspable results--perhaps precisely because he understood nothing of guinea-pigs. ... How, by the way, did Gletkin know of this conversation? Either it had been overheard, which in the circumstances was rather unlikely; or else the comfortable Herr von Z. had been acting asagent provocateur --God only knew for what complicated reasons. Such things had happened often enough before. A trap had been laid for Rubashov--a trap planned according to the primitive mentality of Gletkin and No. 1; and he, Rubashov, had promptly walked into it. ... "Being so well informed of my conversation with Herr von Z.," Rubashov said, "you must also know that it had no consequences." "Certainly," said Gletkin."Thanks to the fact that we arrested you in time, and destroyed the opposition throughout the country. The results of the attempted treason would have appeared if we had not." What could he answer to that? That it would not in any case have led to serious results, if only for the reason that he, Rubashov, was too old and worn-out to act as consequentially as the Party traditions required, and as Gletkin would have done in his place? That the whole activity of the so-called opposition had been senile chatter, because the whole generation of the old guard was just as worn-out as he himself? Worn by the years of illegal struggle, eaten by the damp of the prison walls, between which they had spent half their youth; spiritually sucked dry by the permanent nervous strain of holding down the physical fear, of which one never spoke, which each had to deal with alone--for years, for tens of years. Worn by the years of exile, the acid sharpness of factions within the Party, the unscrupulousness with which they were fought out; worn out by the endless defeats, and the demoralization of the final victory? Should he say that an active, organized opposition to No. 1's dictatorship had never really existed; that it had all only been talk, impotent playing with fire, because this generation of the old guard had given all it had, had been squeezed out to the last drop, to the last spiritual calorie; and like the dead in the graveyard at Errancis, had only one thing left to hope for: to sleep and to wait until posterity did them justice. What could he answer this immovable Neanderthal man? That he was right in everything, but had made one fundamental mistake: to believe that it was still the old Rubashov sitting opposite him, whilst it was only his shadow? That the whole thing came to this--to punish him, not for deeds he had committed, but for those he had neglected to commit? "One can only be crucified in the name of one's own faith," had said comfortable Herr von Z. ... Before Rubashov had signed the statement and was conducted back