Days of Air and Darkness - Katharine Kerr [176]
“Well, is loving you going to bring me aught but sorrow?”
All at once, Rhodry remembered the kiss he’d been given so long ago. He thought of stepping back, but he was caught against the window.
“It’s never brought anyone much but sorrow,” Rhodry said. “Why should you be any different?”
“No reason in the world, truly.”
Rhodry started to speak, thought better of it, then twisted away from the narrow space and strode out into the middle of the room.
“Are you going to look through that chest?” Evandar said from behind him. “I’d imagine you’d want something of Jill’s, just to keep, like.”
“I don’t.” He took a step toward the door. “If you find anything dweomer in there, do what you think fit with it. You’d know better than I.”
Rhodry was unaware of the other man moving, but all at once he felt hands upon his shoulders—cool hands that were more like glass than flesh, but the touch of another being had its comfort, alien or not. He froze, feeling tears rising in his throat.
“It’s not like I still loved Jill,” he said, more to himself than to Evandar. “It just seems that my whole life’s gone with her. The life I had before, or who I was before. Ah, ye gods, I don’t know what I mean.”
The hands stroked along his shoulders, held him a little tighter. Rhodry turned, knocked them away, found himself looking straight into Evandar’s eyes, as turquoise as a summer sea, and as alien.
“I don’t understand that, either,” Evandar said. “But maybe Dalla will.”
“Maybe so. It doesn’t much matter now.”
“Why not?”
“Will you stop?”
Evandar laughed and made him a mocking sort of bow.
“What will you do now, then?”
“Go with the army after the Horsekin. They need me to scout. If we don’t harry them to our borders, who knows what they’ll do?”
“True enough, but Cadmar doesn’t need a dragon to find his enemies.”
“So? It’s the shape-changer I’m after. I’ve sworn vengeance on that bitch, for Yraen and Jill and Meer as well.”
Evandar sighed and looked away, and it seemed that he was, if not sad, then at least miming sadness. “Very well, then. I’ll see you again when I do.” With a flicker of light, like a glint of sun on moving water, Evandar disappeared. Rhodry stood for a moment, staring at the place where he’d been, then swore under his breath. He strode out of the chamber and hurried down the staircase to the comfort of things he understood, even if those things were war and death.
Dallandra had spent the previous night working with the chirurgeons. All of them had driven themselves to work by lantern light until a few hours before dawn, when it became clear that they would only do more harm than help if they didn’t get some sleep. She dragged herself to her chamber and bed only to dream of wounds, broken bone, all white and shattered, cut flesh, bruised flesh, red blood, and blackening gore. After a few hours of this she woke, went down to work some more, then finally, near noon, crawled back to her bed and slept without dreaming. She woke again late in the day to the stink of old blood; she’d forgotten to wash.
Feeling as if she’d gag, she got up, found an inadequate pitcher of water, bent her head over the basin, and poured the whole thing over, then dabbled the worst of the blood from her hands in the resulting mess. She staggered down to the women’s hall, only to find it empty, went down to the great hall but found no one but Jahdo. Freshly bathed and combed, the lad was wearing clean clothes, a shirt of obvious dwarven craftsmanship, a pair of trousers of the same, both the right length but far too wide for him. He had them belted with a strip of leather, tied in a knot for want of a buckle.
“What’s this?” she said, laughing. “Have you been adopted by the Mountain Folk?”
“I’ve not, my lady, but Rhodry, he did take me on as his page, and then he did send me to Garin, who did give me these things.”
“Good, good.” She glanced round. “Where is everyone?”
“At the victory feast, my lady. It do be late in the day. Rhodry sent me here to see if I could find you.”
“Ah. Well, you have. Can you haul a couple of buckets of water up