Dear Cary - Dyan Cannon [89]
My parents had arrived in time for the birth, and along with Addie, they stayed with me for practically every minute during the three days I was in the hospital.
Cary left ahead of us through the hospital’s front entrance to divert the press. (“She’s my best production,” he told them. “She’s the most beautiful baby in the world.”) I was wheeled through a side entrance where a car and driver were waiting to take us home.
When we turned into the driveway, Cary came out of the house wearing a silk top hat and a grin as wide as the Panama Canal. He opened the car door for me and showered me with kisses. “Welcome home, Mrs. Grant, and my dear daughter, Jennifer!” He gingerly took Jennifer in his arms and touched noses with her. “This is the moment I’ve been waiting for my whole life,” he whispered to her. Cary’s eyes were soft with emotion. I’d really never seen him this way. I started to tear up, and when my parents came out into the driveway, I completely dissolved with emotion.
It was certainly the happiest moment of my life.
Logs were ablaze in the living room fireplace, and Cary had filled the house with flowers. There we were, all together: three generations on my side of the family, and two on Cary’s. Jennifer gurgled and cooed. When my dad came over to kiss her cheek, I saw him flick away a tear—the first tear I’d ever seen come to his stoic eyes in all my life. I felt a wave of utter completeness. I felt myself totally immersed in the stream of life. I wished time could stand still.
“It’s just astounding,” Cary said. “Cards, flowers, and telegrams have come from all over the world.”
I plopped down into the chair with Jennifer, grateful to be off my feet.
I looked around the room, and it struck me that something was missing.
“Oh, I haven’t seen Bangs yet. Bangs! I can’t wait for Bangs to meet Jennifer.” Mom stood up and left the room. I hollered again for Bangs. “Come here, baby! Where is she?” I asked, looking around.
“Bangs is gone, Dyan,” Cary said in the kind of hushed voice people use in church.
“Gone? Gone where?” Had the maid taken her for a walk? Was she at the vet’s?
“I found her another home,” Cary said.
“Her own house in the Hollywood Hills? You didn’t have to do that.” I laughed. I thought he was joking. In the corner, my father had put his head down and was staring at the floor.
“No, Dyan, I gave her away.” Oh my God. He was serious. He actually gave my Bangs away? I opened my mouth but I couldn’t talk.
“Infants and dogs aren’t a good mix, Dyan,” he said. “We’ve talked about that.”
“Cary . . .” I raised my hand up and opened my mouth again, but still nothing came out, at least for a few seconds. “Cary, wherever she is, go and get my dog. Go and get my dog! Now!” I watched my dad get up and leave the room. “Cary, I’m serious. Bangs is part of our family. How can you give away family? And how could you give away something that belonged to me without talking to me about it?”
Bangs was much too gentle to hurt anything or anyone. How could he possibly imagine her hurting Jennifer?
“Animals can experience extreme jealousy around newborns,” Cary said professorially. “They can undergo profound personality changes.”
“You had no right, Cary. No right.”
He walked toward me to put his arms around me. I stretched my arm out and stopped him.
“Do not come over here and try to touch me,” I told him. “And don’t pretend to love me. Because anybody who loved me could never do that.”
I went to my room and locked the door.
About an hour later there was a knock. It was Mom. “Honey, let me in,” she said. I did. She came in and just held me in her arms for a long while. “Dyan,” she said, “I know how much you love Bangs. But for the sake of your marriage and your daughter, you’ve got to let this go.”
“Mom, Bangs has been with me for ten years. Yorkshire terriers only bond with one person. She won’t live long with anyone else.”
Mom wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly. “Honey,” she said, “life isn’t always fair, and neither is marriage. But I’ve got