Death In The Family, A - James Agee [106]
“Way I heard it, ole Tin Lizzie just rolled right back on top of him whomp.”
This account of it was false, Rufus was sure, but it seemed to him more exciting than his own, and more creditable to his father and to him, and nobody could question, scornfully, whether that could kill, as they could of just a blow on the chin; so he didn’t try to contradict. He felt that he was lying, and in some way being disloyal as well, but he said only, “He was instantly killed. He didn’t have to feel any pain.”
“Never even knowed what hit him,” a boy said quietly. “That’s what my dad says.”
“No,” Rufus said. It had not occurred to him that way. “I guess he didn’t.” Never even knowed what hit him. Knew.
“Reckon that ole Tin Lizzie is done for now. Huh?”
He wondered if there was some meanness behind calling it an old Tin Lizzie. “I guess so,” he said.
“Good ole waggin, but she done broke down.”
His father sang that.
“No more joy rides in that ole Tin Lizzie, huh Rufus?”
“I guess not,” Rufus replied shyly.
He began to realize that for some moments now a bell, the school bell, had been weltering on the dark gray air; he realized it because at this moment the last of its reverberations were fading.
“Last bell,” one of the boys said in sudden alarm.
“Come on, we’re goana git hell,” another said; and within another second Rufus was watching them all run dwindling away up the street, and around the corner into Highland Avenue, as fast as they could go, and all round him the morning was empty and still. He stood still and watched the corner for almost half a minute after the fattest of them, and then the smallest, had disappeared; then he walked slowly back along the alley, hearing once more the sober crumbling of the cinders under each step, and up through the narrow side yard between the houses, and up the steps of the front porch.
In the paper! He looked for it beside the door, but it was not there. He listened carefully, but he could not bear anything. He let himself quietly through the front door, at the moment his Aunt Hannah came from the sitting room into the front hall. She wore a cloth over her hair and in her hands she was carrying the smoking stand. She did not see him at first and he saw how fierce and lonely her face looked. He tried to make himself small but just then she wheeled on him, her lenses flashing, and exclaimed, “Rufus Follet, where on earth have you been!” His stomach quailed, for her voice was so angry it was as if it were crackling with sparks.
“Outdoors.”
“Where, outdoors! I’ve been looking for you all over the place.”
“Just out. Back in the alley.”
“Didn’t you hear me calling you?”
He shook his head.
“I shouted until my voice was hoarse.”
He kept shaking his head. “Honest,” he said.
“Now listen to me carefully. You mustn’t go outdoors today. Stay right here inside this house, do you understand?”
He nodded. He felt suddenly that he had done an awful thing.
“I know it’s hard to,” she said more gently, “but you’ve got to. Help Catherine with her coloring. Read a book. You promise?”
“Yes’m.”
“And don’t do anything to disturb your mother.”
“No’m.”
She went on down the hall and he watched her. What was she doing with the pipes and the ash trays, he wondered. He considered sneaking behind her, for he knew that she could not see at all well, yet he would be sure to get caught, for her hearing was very sharp. All the same, he sneaked along to the back of the hall and watched her empty the ashes into the garbage pail and rap out the pipes against its rim. Then she stood with the pipes in her hand, looking around uncertainly; finally she put the pipes and the ash tray on the cupboard shelf, and set the smoking stand in the corner of the kitchen behind the stove. He went back along the hall on tiptoe and into the sitting room.
Catherine sat in the little chair by the side window with a picture book on her knees. Her crayons were all over the window sill and she was working intently with an orange crayon. She looked up when he came in and looked down