Death In The Family, A - James Agee [15]
“Give all my love to your mother. Tell her they’re both in my thoughts and wishes—constantly. And your father, of course, if he’s—well enough to talk to.”
“Sure, dear.”
“And take care of yourself.”
“Sure.”
He patted her back and they parted.
“Then I’ll hear from you—see you—very soon.”
“That’s right.”
“All right, Jay.” She squeezed his arm. He kissed her, just beneath the eye, and realized her disappointed lips; they smiled, and he kissed her heartily on the mouth. In a glimmer of gaiety, both were on the verge of parting with their customary morning farewell, she singing, “Good-bye John, don’t stay long,” he singing back, “I’ll be back in a week or two,” but both thought better of it.
“All right, dear. Good-bye.”
“Good-bye, my dear.”
He turned abruptly at the bottom of the steps. “Hey,” he whispered. “How’s your money?”
She thought rapidly. “All right, thank you.”
“Tell the children good-bye for me. Tell them I’ll see them tonight.”
“I better not promise that, had I?”
“No, but probably. And Mary: I hope I can make supper, but don’t wait it.”
“All right.”
“Good night.”
“Good night.” He walked back towards the bam. In the middle of the yard he turned and whispered loudly, “And you think it over about your birthday.”
“Thank you, Jay. All right. Thank you.”
She could hear him walking as quietly as possible on the cinders. He silently lifted and set aside the bar of the door, and opened the door, taking care to be quiet. The first leaf squealed; the second, which was usually worse, was perfectly still. Stepping to the left of the car, and assuming the serious position of stealth which the narrowness of the garage made necessary, he disappeared into the absolute darkness.
She knew he would try not to wake the neighbors and the children; and that it was impossible to start the auto quietly. She waited with sympathy and amusement, and with habituated dread of his fury and of the profanity she was sure would ensue, spoken or unspoken.
Uhgh—hy uh yu hy why uhy uh: wheek-uh-wheek-uh:
Ughh—hy wh yuh: wheek:
(now the nearly noiseless, desperate adjustments of spark and throttle and choke)
Ughgh—hyuh yuhyuh wheek yuh yuh wheek wheek wheek yuh yuhyuh: wheek:
(which she never understood and, from where she stayed now, could predict so well)
Ughgh—Ughgh—yuhyuhUgh wheek yuh yuh Ughgh yuh wheek wheek yuhyuh: wheek wheek: uh:
(like a hideous, horribly constipated great brute of a beast: like a lunatic sobbing: like a mouse being tortured):
Ughgh—Ughgh—Ughgh (Poor thing, he must be simply furious) Ughgh—wheek—Whughughyuh—Ughwheekyuhuughgyughyuhyuhy a a a a a a a h h h h h h R h R h R H R H R H (oh, stop it!) R H R H (a window went up) R H R H R H R H R H R yuhyhhRRHRHRHRHRHRHRHRHRHRH (the door smacked to in rage and triumph) RhRhRh - - - - - - - - (the window went down) RHRHRHRHRH (the machine backed out; crackling on the cinders). RHRH - - - - - (he wrenched it rudely but adroitly in a backward curve, almost to the chicken wire; from between the houses, light from the street caught its black side) rhrh - - - - (and swung as rudely round the corner of the barn and, by opposite turn, into the alley, facing eastward, where it stood) rhrh - - - - - - - - (obedient, conquered, malicious as a mule, while he briefly reappeared, faced towards the house, saw her, waved one hand—she waved, but he did not see her—and drew the gate shut, disappearing beyond it) rhrhrhrhrhrhrhRHRHRHRHRHRHR
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C utta wawwwwk:
Craaawwrk?
Chiquawkwawh.
Wrrawkuhkuhkuh.
Craarrawwk.
rwrwrk?
yrk.
rk:
She released a long breath, very slowly, and went into. the house.
There was her milk, untouched, forgotten, barely tepid. She drank it down, without pleasure; all its whiteness, draining from the stringing wet whiteness of the empty cup, was singularly repugnant. She decided to leave things until morning, ran water over the dishes, and left them in the sink.
If the children had