Death In The Family, A - James Agee [9]
“Quit it, Ralph,” he said sharply. “Cut that out and tell me about it.”
“Hit’s only my duty, Jay, God Almighty I ...”
“All right, Ralph,” he said, “I preciate your callin. Now tell me about Paw.”
“I just got back fer this, Jay, this minute, hurried home specially to ring you up ... Course I’m agoan right back, you ...”
“Listen, Ralph. Listen here. Can you hear me?” Ralph was silent. “Is he dead or alive?”
“Paw?”
Jay started to say, “Yeah, Paw,” in tight rage, but he heard Ralph begin again. He can’t help it, he thought, and waited.
“Why, naw, he ain’t dead,” Ralph said, deflated. The darkness lifted considerably from Jay: coldly, he listened to Ralph whickering up his feelings again. Finally, his voice shaking satisfactorily, he said, “But O Lord God, hit looks like the end Jay!”
I should come up, huh?” He began to wonder whether Ralph was sober enough to be trusted; Ralph heard, and misunderstood the doubt in his voice.
His own voice became dignified. “Course that’s entirely up to you, Jay. I know Paw n all of us would feel it was mighty strange if his oldest boy, the one he always thought the most of ...”
This new voice and this new tack bewildered Jay for a moment. Then he understood what Ralph was driving at, and had misunderstood, and assumed about him, and was glad that he was not where he could hit him. He cut in.
“Hold on, Ralph, you hold on there. If Paw’s that bad you know damn well I’m comin so don’t give me none a that ...” But he realized, with self-dislike, how unimportant it was to argue this matter with Ralph and said, “Listen here, Ralph, now don’t think I’m jumping on you, just listen. Do you hear me?” His feet and legs were getting chilly. He warmed one foot beneath the other. “Hear me?”
“I can hear you, Jay.”
“Ralph, get it straight I’m not trying to jump on you, but sounds to me like you’ve had a few. Now ...”
“Now hold on. I don’t give a damn if you’re drunk or sober, far’s you’re concerned: point is this, Ralph. Anyone that’s drunk, I know it myself, they’re likely to exaggerate ...”
“You think I’m a lyin to you? You ...”
“Shut up, Ralph. Course you’re not. But if you’re drunk you can get an exaggerated idea how serious a thing is. Now you think a minute. Just think it over. And remember nobody’s goin to think bad of you if you change your mind, or for calling either. Just how sick is he really, Ralph?”
“Course if you don’t want to take my word for ...”
“Think, Goddamn it!” Ralph was silent. Jay changed his feet around. He suddenly realized how foolish he had been to try to get anything level-headed out of Ralph. “Listen, Ralph,” he said. “I know you wouldn’t a phoned if you didn’t think it was serious. Is Sally there?”
“Why yeah, she ...”
“Let me talk to her a minute, will you?”
“Why I just told you she’s out home.”
“Course Mother’s out there.”
“Why, Jay, she wouldn’t never leave his side. Mother ...”
“Doctor’s been out, of course.”
“He’s with him still. Was when I left.”
“What’s he say?”
Ralph hesitated. He did not want to spoil his story. “He says he has a chance, Jay.”
By the way Ralph said it, Jay suspected the doctor had said, a good chance.
He was at the edge of asking whether it was a good chance or just a chance when he was suddenly overcome by even more disgust for himself, for haggling about it, than for Ralph. Besides, his feet were so chilly they were beginning to itch.
“Look here, Ralph,” he said, in a different voice. “I’m talking too much. I ...”
“Yeah, reckon our time must be about up, but what’s a few...”
“Listen here. I’m starting right on up. I ought to be there by—what time is it, do you know?”
“Hit’s two-thirty-seven, Jay. I knowed you’d ...”
“I ought to be there by daylight, Ralph, you tell Mother I’m coming right on up just quicks I can get there. Ralph. Is he conscious?”
“Awf an’ on, Jay. He’s been speakin yore name, Jay, hit like