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HAPPY: How can they tell that? That’s a lie.

LINDA: It seems there’s a woman . . . [She takes a breath as]

BIFF [sharply but contained]:} What woman?

LINDA [simultaneously]: } . . . and this woman . . .

LINDA: What?

BIFF: Nothing. Go ahead.

LINDA: What did you say?

BIFF: Nothing. I just said what woman?

HAPPY: What about her?

LINDA: Well, it seems she was walking down the road and saw his car. She says that he wasn’t driving fast at all, and that he didn’t skid. She says he came to that little bridge, and then deliberately smashed into the railing, and it was only the shallowness of the water that saved him.

BIFF: Oh, no, he probably just fell asleep again.

LINDA: I don’t think he fell asleep.

BIFF: Why not?

LINDA: Last month . . . [With great difficulty] Oh, boys, it’s so hard to say a thing like this! He’s just a big stupid man to you, but I tell you there’s more good in him than in many other people. [She chokes, wipes her eyes.] I was looking for a fuse. The lights blew out, and I went down the cellar. And behind the fuse box—it happened to fall out—was a length of rubber pipe—just short.

HAPPY: No kidding?

LINDA: There’s a little attachment on the end of it. I knew right away. And sure enough, on the bottom of the water heater there’s a new little nipple on the gas pipe.

HAPPY [angrily]: That—jerk.

BIFF: Did you have it taken off?

LINDA: I’m—I’m ashamed to. How can I mention it to him? Every day I go down and take away that little rubber pipe. But, when he comes home, I put it back where it was. How can I insult him that way? I don’t know what to do. I live from day to day, boys. I tell you, I know every thought in his mind. It sounds so old-fashioned and silly, but I tell you he put his whole life into you and you’ve turned your backs on him. [She is bent over in the chair, weeping, her face in her hands.] Biff, I swear to God! Biff, his life is in your hands!

HAPPY [to BIFF]: How do you like that damned fool!

BIFF [kissing her]: All right, pal, all right. It’s all settled now. I’ve been remiss. I know that, Mom. But now I’ll stay, and I swear to you, I’ll apply myself. [Kneeling in front of her, in a fever of self-reproach] It’s just—you see, Mom, I don’t fit in business. Not that I won’t try. I’ll try, and I’ll make good.

HAPPY: Sure you will. The trouble with you in business was you never tried to please people.

BIFF: I know, I—

HAPPY: Like when you worked for Harrison’s. Bob Harrison said you were tops, and then you go and do some damn fool thing like whistling whole songs in the elevator like a comedian.

BIFF [against HAPPY]: So what? I like to whistle sometimes.

HAPPY: You don’t raise a guy to a responsible job who whistles in the elevator!

LINDA: Well, don’t argue about it now.

HAPPY: Like when you’d go off and swim in the middle of the day instead of taking the line around.

BIFF [his resentment rising]: Well, don’t you run off? You take off sometimes, don’t you? On a nice summer day?

HAPPY: Yeah, but I cover myself!

LINDA: Boys!

HAPPY: If I’m going to take a fade the boss can call any number where I’m supposed to be and they’ll swear to him that I just left. I’ll tell you something that I hate to say, Biff, but in the business world some of them think you’re crazy.

BIFF [angered]: Screw the business world!

HAPPY: All right, screw it! Great, but cover yourself!

LINDA: Hap, Hap!

BIFF: I don’t care what they think! They’ve laughed at Dad for years, and you know why? Because we don’t belong in this nuthouse of a city! We should be mixing cement on some open plain, or—or carpenters. A carpenter is allowed to whistle!

[WILLY walks in from the entrance of the house, at left.]

WILLY: Even your grandfather was better than a carpenter. [Pause. They watch him.] You never grew up. Bernard does not whistle in the elevator, I assure you.

BIFF [as though to laugh WILLY out of it]: Yeah, but you do, Pop.

WILLY: I never in my life whistled in an elevator! And who in the business world thinks I’m crazy?

BIFF: I didn’t mean it like that, Pop. Now don’t make