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By Root 981 0

I didn’t forget. Listen, I was just dying to tell you. You know that little rubber pipe I told you about? That he connected to the gas heater? I finally decided to go down the cellar this morning and take it away and destroy it. But it’s gone! Imagine? He took it away himself, it isn’t there! [She listens.] When? Oh, then you took it. Oh—nothing, it’s just that I’d hoped he’d taken it away himself. Oh, I’m not worried, darling, because this morning he left in such high spirits, it was like the old days! I’m not afraid any more. Did Mr. Oliver see you? . . . Well, you wait there then. And make a nice impression on him, darling. Just don’t perspire too much before you see him. And have a nice time with Dad. He may have big news too! . . . That’s right, a New York job. And be sweet to him tonight, dear. Be loving to him. Because he’s only a little boat looking for a harbor. [She is trembling with sorrow and joy.] Oh, that’s wonderful, Biff, you’ll save his life. Thanks, darling. Just put your arm around him when he comes into the restaurant. Give him a smile. That’s the boy . . . Good-bye, dear . . . You got your comb? . . . That’s fine. Good-bye, Biff dear.

[In the middle of her speech, HOWARD WAGNER, thirty-six, wheels on a small typewriter table on which is a wire-recording machine and proceeds to plug it in. This is on the left forestage. Light slowly fades on LINDA as it rises on HOWARD. HOWARD is intent on threading the machine and only glances over his shoulder as WILLY appears.]

WILLY: Pst! Pst!

HOWARD: Hello, Willy, come in.

WILLY: Like to have a little talk with you, Howard.

HOWARD: Sorry to keep you waiting. I’ll be with you in a minute.

WILLY: What’s that, Howard?

HOWARD: Didn’t you ever see one of these? Wire recorder.

WILLY: Oh. Can we talk a minute?

HOWARD: Records things. Just got delivery yesterday. Been driving me crazy, the most terrific machine I ever saw in my life. I was up all night with it.

WILLY: What do you do with it?

HOWARD: I bought it for dictation, but you can do anything with it. Listen to this. I had it home last night. Listen to what I picked up. The first one is my daughter. Get this. [He flicks the switch and “Roll out the Barrel” is heard being whistled.] Listen to that kid whistle.

WILLY: That is lifelike, isn’t it?

HOWARD: Seven years old. Get that tone.

WILLY: Ts, ts. Like to ask a little favor if you . . .

[The whistling breaks off, and the voice of HOWARD’S daughter is heard.]

HIS DAUGHTER: “Now you, Daddy.”

HOWARD: She’s crazy for me! [Again the same song is whistled. ] That’s me! Ha! [He winks.]

WILLY: You’re very good!

[The whistling breaks off again. The machine runs silent for a moment.]

HOWARD: Sh! Get this now, this is my son.

HIS SON: “The capital of Alabama is Montgomery; the capital of Arizona is Phoenix; the capital of Arkansas is Little Rock; the capital of California is Sacramento . . .” [and on, and on.]

HOWARD [holding up five fingers]: Five years old, Willy!

WILLY: He’ll make an announcer some day!

HIS SON [continuing]: “The capital . . .”

HOWARD: Get that—alphabetical order! [The machine breaks off suddenly.] Wait a minute. The maid kicked the plug out.

WILLY: It certainly is a—

HOWARD: Sh, for God’s sake!

HIS SON: “It’s nine o’clock, Bulova watch time. So I have to go to sleep.”

WILLY: That really is—

HOWARD: Wait a minute! The next is my wife.

[They wait.]

HOWARD’S VOICE: “Go on, say something.” [Pause.] “Well, you gonna talk?”

HIS WIFE: “I can’t think of anything.”

HOWARD’S VOICE: “Well, talk—it’s turning.”

HIS WIFE [shyly, beaten]: “Hello.” [Silence.] “Oh, Howard, I can’t talk into this . . .”

HOWARD [snapping the machine off ]: That was my wife.

WILLY: That is a wonderful machine. Can we—

HOWARD: I tell you, Willy, I’m gonna take my camera, and my bandsaw, and all my hobbies, and out they go. This is the most fascinating relaxation I ever found.

WILLY: I think I’ll get one myself.

HOWARD: Sure, they’re only a hundred and a half. You can’t do without it. Supposing you wanna hear Jack Benny, see? But you can’t be